Some of you may be wondering where I have been. (or maybe not ha ha). Anyway, just been busy with life and now that the 'newness' of blogging has worn off its not near the top of my list. I actually wouldn't even be on here writing this (because I have more important things to do with my family, and hence the reason its not near the top of my list---not that it was ever above my family u understand, but since the newness is gone its not pushing itself up there stealing my time as much anymore). So anyway, BUT... I wanted to share with u where I am because I feel its important. I think its healthy, and I think its good.
So that being said... no, I haven't dropped a ton of weight and entered a modeling contest for the boniest 40 year old on the planet. :) In fact, I've actually gained weight. BUT... I'm pretty ok. In fact, I'm good. I am finally absorbing into my attitude and outlook all the things I've been saying with my mouth over the past 9 months or so... and that is... JUST BE HAPPY!
I've said it before, it seems women are never happy with their weight, but yet they always wish they were x number of pounds lighter, BUT when they WERE x number of pounds lighter they weren't happy then either because they wanted to be Y number of pounds lighter! Well, I am not at my lightest, I am not even really at my 'pretty normal' weight (it is the holidays u know?) but I'm happy. And I don't want to spend all (or actually ANY) of my time talking about weight, food choices, or denied foods with anyone. There I said it. I am tired of talking about weight and food. I mean it. There is more to life than this, and I am going to live my life enjoying life and enjoying my family, and NOT thinking in my head all the time about this stuff. If anyone doesn't like me for this. oh well. I think you will find I am an actually better and happier friend, wife, and mother when I am not beating myself up over weight and food. I am not obese. I am not huge. I am not unhealthy. I am not hideous to look at. I am normal. I hope everyone accepts that. I think they will. There is one person who doesn't want my attitude to give me free reign to hop on the chocolate cookie induced fat train. But don't worry, I'm not taking this to the extreme. I'm not saying get me the Big Mac and the shake, in fact make it a double and lets pack on the pounds. No, I'm just saying I'm sick of highs and lows, I am just going to stay here in the middle and enjoy life and myself. I'm not taking it easy. I'm not giving up. I'm not a wimp. I still work out 6 days a week doing running, treadmill, weights, and classes. I still try to make healthy food choices BECAUSE they are healthy for me, NOT because I want to deprive myself of something. In fact, there isn't much deprivation because my attitude has changed. If I don't eat it its because I don't want it, not because I'm depriving myself. If I do eat it (Bang Bang Shrimp I love you) its because I want to and I'm living a normal life where people do indulge some, but we just make some adjustments in other choices to cover the big indulgences.
So there u basically have it. I'm not going to keep going on about this because honestly I don't want to be on the computer, I want to go play with my daughter. But if u are around me, don't think I'm being rude if I change the subject when talk turns to 'dieting'. Its just not something I feel is worth talking about anymore, and I don't want my young girls to overhear those conversations. Even though I've tried to make sure they don't hear much (because I want them to have healthy body images), I'm sure they've still heard some, because even if its not coming out of my mouth I can't say how often it comes out of the mouths of women any time they get together, no matter what the circumstance of the gathering may be. So, this is why I won't be partaking in those conversations anymore and I will either change the subject or remove myself from the situation. Hope u all understand. Happiness is better than a number on the scale. Happiness makes for a better mother, a better wife, and even a better lover. If you aren't happy with your situation, you aren't confident, and being unconfident in the bedroom is a real buzz killer. Just ask my husband :) In the past we've had several nights where my unhappiness with MY body ruined the fun we could have had together. So I'm just saying, it took me awhile to fully grasp this concept. (I knew it and said it, but didn't really get it into my heart and soul until now), if you can grasp this concept too, it might be something good for u. Its been good for me. Talk to ya later gals! Rene'