Wednesday, September 21, 2011

hanging strong

Still hanging steady at 145. Nothing much new here. Working out less than I had anticipated at the gym, even though I really like the classes. Just not working well into my schedule right now. But I do get a workout on the treadmill 5 days a week so my exercise is what I would consider 'regular'. Not extreme, but not lazy. My eating is sort of just blah. Food doesn't really interest me right now, unless its fresh cookies, and we all know you can't live on cookies alone. So I am just trying to remember to eat when I am alone, so that I don't forget and therefore slow down my metabolism by not feeding my body regularily. Breakfasts and dinners are pretty normal because I am eating with the kids or family, but sometimes for lunches I am alone and nothing really sounds appetizing, so I don't want anything. I did reorder some of my Isagenix shakes though ( I was out) so now I'll have that option, if I'm too short on time, or not interested in a meal, I can just whip up a shake and know that with the enzymes and nutrients in it I am getting tons of good stuff for my body and also 'feeding' it so my metabolism can keep on track. Hopefully, this will improve my eating schedule. But besides not really being 'into' food right now, everything is just cruising along. I really like it this way. I want it to remain just 'maintenance' and not a 'struggle'. The last time I 'maintained' was in 2007 when I lost 20 pounds and I stayed at 135 for 9 months. I know I'm not quite 4 months into this, and therefore not even halfway to 9 months, but I really want to continue this forever, and not have it be another cycle on a yo-yo. Keep praying for me that this remains my lifestyle!  :)

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Dryer shrinkage

ok, you know the drill... you throw your jeans in the dryer after washing them... and poof! they seem to have shrunk 3 sizes!!!!   Well, I don't know about you, but my jeans are almost always like this (except when I lost that 20 pounds and I HAD to wash my jeans after EVERY wearing , just to try to tighten them up enough so they wouldn't fall down). Well, that's not normally the case with me, normally I don't wash my jeans after every time I wear them, because truth is they usually don't even get comfortable till after about the 3rd or 4th time wearing them. Then I wear them more and more, so hopefully they get the way I REALLY like them, just a little baggy. Then finally when its been forever, or if I spill something on them, I toss them in the wash and dryer and then start the process all over again. Dreading the first time I have to put them on again because they will be too tight and thus make me feel fat.
Well, this week, it was well overdue for me to wash three of my jean shorts. They were all so baggy it looked like my butt was dragging to the back of my knees almost! lol. These three shorts all happen to be identical. Same brand, same size, same style name, etc. Except one pair is a little darker and I like the way it fits the best. The other two LOOK identical, but for some reason one fits me much snugger than the other. Well, all three were way too baggy so I tossed them into the wash and dryer.
Now here's the good news...
I pulled them on to wear a pair this week (one of the lighter 2 pairs) and couldn't tell which pair I was putting on, the really tight pair or the semi tight pair (I told u they LOOK identical, I can only tell once I have them on which is which-usually I keep track of which is which by the belt that I just leave on them till I wear them again ha ha). Anyway, I went to put on one of the two typically tight pairs, thinking 'here we go, get to wear tight pants for 3 days till they get stretched out and comfy', and to my surprise....
they were loose!  In fact after I wore them that day, after just one day, they were already so baggy in the behind I probably should throw them back in the wash to shrink them up again! 

This is good news to me! I like looser, baggier clothes. Plus that means I'm not gaining weight! I am still holding strong and steady! My scale still says 145, but for these jeans to NOT be snug at all, I MUST be losing inches (and therefore gaining some muscle to keep the scale steady)!   That's great news. I'm happy, just wanted to share my happiness! Hope everyone is having a great day!

Sunday, August 14, 2011

staying strong

I am pleased to announce that after my 9day Isagenix cleanse three months ago, I am still staying strong at the weight I'd attained after the cleanse, which is 145. (Remember, I'm 5'8", not 5'2").  My clothes are all fitting comfortably (not tight, and even a bit loose in areas I like them loose, like my thighs and butt). Which of course is the best part and main goal, to have my clothes fit the way I like them.

I am in no way on any sort of 'diet'. I am simply living, and trying to do all things in moderation. Yes, I eat ice cream. (And last weekend on vacation I indulged in berry cake(divine), fresh cookies, ice cream, swiss rolls, chips, and even THREE apple turnovers at the Dixie Stampede!) Not something I normally eat in any 5day period, but I did there, and I had no sense of 'guilt'. I knew that moderation is my plan in everything, and that this was just a splurge while on my vacation and that my main meals were moderate and not gut-busters, so I wasn't 'completely off the wagon with no hope of return'.)

The main part of my moderation plan is portion size. I've realized that my family hates any 'healthier' version I make of any food so I am tired of the complaints and am no longer trying to use whole wheat pasta etc in my dinners. I am simply making normal dinners, but my portions are the difference. Instead of eating past fullness and getting stomach aches, I am eating less, and THINKING about it during a break. If I am still hungry after the break, I'll eat more. If I then realize I am full (usually the case because it takes a while for your brain and stomach to register fullness), then I don't eat more. It is working out well. Especially since my family is definately a 'restaurant' family. Yes, I usually try to get grilled fish or salads (because I like them, not because they are 'diet' foods). But some restaurants have only one genre of food (ie. fried food or pizza), and so at those restaurants , yes, I am eating fried fish and pizza. In fact, this week I ate pepperoni pizza twice. But the improvement for me is that I only eat 2-3 pieces and am completely full, versus when I used to eat 5 or 6.

This moderation, in normal every day food, is keeping me at an even weight level.
I have to admit also (don't get jealous--I am amazed myself), that my workouts are less intense and less time consuming than before, and I am STILL maintaining a good weight.
I am trying to do my treadmill everyday (like I used to), but it doesn't always happen. (The good thing though is... I don't freak out when that happens, like I used to!  I am so pleased to see this progress in my mindset --see Mindy, I told you I was working on being less of a gym rat!---- anyway, this is good progress , plus instead of trying to do at least an hour on the treadmill, I am fine if I can only fit in 20-30 minutes. During the summer I was able to do about 2, and sometimes 3 classes at the gym a week (the kids don't like going, so I didn't want to drag them there everyday, it was summertime and I wanted to focus on having fun all summer with my kids, not dragging them with me to the gym). I was planning that once school started (2days ago) I would be able to go to the gym 4 days a week. At the beginning of summer I was really looking forward to this, but for this first month or so I have a lot of stuff going on at school (I'm the PTA treasurer), and at my husband's companies (I am the bookkeeper, and there are a lot of new changes going on that require my attention right now). And quite honestly, now that the end of summer is here, I am looking at my schedule and thinking 4 days a week at the gym is probably unrealistic for me, unless I want it to become an 'idol' again in my life. Which I don't. So... all this to say...

I am not working out like a maniac, yet I feel good about this new moderation in my life.
I am not on a diet.
I am not restricting myself in any way, but am making wise choices, and using moderation in ANY choice I make.
And I am happy to say that this LIFESTYLE is working. My weight is not a yo-yo. I am at a good, comfortable weight, and I am STILL enjoying life  (sorry, but I can't handle deprivation, it doesn't work for me).
I really want to stay on this plan. I hate being yo-yo in my weight. I hate that 'weight' becomes a focal point because of yo-yo stuff. I want it to be a non-topic, just a part of life. Honestly, I am getting there. Now, this isn't to say I wouldn't mind losing another 5 pounds, but I am not focusing all my thoughts and time on that. If it slowly comes down, just because of wise moderate choices, that's fine. But I'm not thinking about that everytime I get dressed. I am doing good. This is just life for me. I want it to stay this way. I don't want this to be a 'phase'. I am consciously making it a longterm reality.

So there is my update, I haven't blogged in a while (like I said I was out partaking in summer activities with my kiddos), but here is the update, and its a good one :)

p.s. while on vacation, I was goofing off while changing into my swimsuit and struck a pose in the mirror. I was surprised... I looked GOOD! It was the whole "Daisy Duke" look, bikini top and jean shorts---of course my shorts weren't cutoffs with my cheekers hanging out, but you get the idea, at least they were jeans :) So I told my daughter to snap a photo of me, and I jumped on the bed and showed it to my hubby and said "look, you are so lucky, I am looking GOOD!", he laughed and blew me off and told me I was crazy. Which maybe I am, but I was seriously digging the swimsuit top and jean shorts look. I'm posting the shot here for proof that moderation works. "You can have your cake, and eat it too" (just a slice though, not the whole cake at once!)  lol  So, hopefully, this is inspiring to folks out there... if u can get your mind grasped around a concept, it can become a lifestyle, and not feel like a deprivation diet.

Thursday, June 16, 2011

pants getting big

just a quick note to say...
 I love it when I go to take my pants down, and I undo my belt but then forget to unbutton or unzip my jeans and I just pull them down... and they really do come down!   woohoo! that means they aren't tight or glued to my skin! I'm liking this 145, which by the way I'm still holding strong at even after going on vacation and having fewer workouts than I've regularily had for the past 8 years!  I'll keep u posted on all that later, but for now... good news on the jeans coming off with only undoing the belt lol

Friday, June 3, 2011

Isagenix 9 day cleanse

Well, I did it again.
I decided that it was necessary to take drastic measures and therefore subject myself to yet another cleanse. I did my first one almost exactly 4 years ago and was very successful at it. I then tried to do it 2 or 3 times after that and was highly unsuccessful. Cleansing programs like this are just virtually fasts. Therefore, they are not fun and all you wind up thinking about is what you would like to eat. My first time I was successful because I had never done it before and I was determined to  finish what I started and do it right. I did. I lost 10 pounds in that 9 days, but then promptly ate everything in sight and gained back 5 in about 2 days. Still a net loss of 5 pounds, so I was pretty happy with the results. Plus it did what I really needed it to do at that point...get me over a plateau I was on and re-motivate me to push even harder. It succeeded, as did I. It was during this 18 week period four years ago that I lost 20 pounds and 20 total inches. I went from 155 to 135, and then successfully stayed there for about 9 months. That's when my old mindset set in ("I'm skinny, I can eat whatever I want"...wrong! ice cream every night for several weeks added 5 pounds, reduced workouts added another 5 pounds, time and decreased motivation added another 5 pounds... so four years later I am back up 15 of those 20 pounds and willing to try again).
I've been on a bit of a plateau again. I'm happy (as u know), but I would like to see some progress and I'm just not seeing it. Plus swimsuit season is here and I just think my thighs are a bit too wide for a suit, plus I LOVE it when my pants/jeans/shorts are baggy or not tight on my thighs. Right now they are tight on my thighs and I hate that feeling. I LOVE clothes that are baggy , especially ones that were once tight, because it is such a continual motivation/confirmation of the good choices I've made. Whereas... when they are tight its a continual reminder that what I'm doing isn't working because my pants are too darn tight in the thighs. Obviously everyone has there 'hot spot'. The part of their body that they want to change. For some its love handles and guts. For me, its thighs (which when they get too big, blends into my butt too).

So anyway, I decided to use this memorial day weekend when my hubby would be out of town to start this cleanse (its so much easier to cleanse when you aren't going out to eat or making full-fledged meals. With him being gone, I can cook the kids easy simple stuff, that I don't like to eat anyway, and am therefore not in agony when I can't eat it). I know this sounds horrible and ridiculous, and very self-depriving. And it truly is. But, there is a goal here. Once I succeed in these 9 days, I KNOW I will see positive results and that will give me the boost to keep it off and even maybe get more off. Gosh, how fun it would be to spend this summer (or everyday of the rest of my life) at 135 pounds again. lol.

I know this also sounds contradictory to my many previous posts about being happy with where you are. Don't get me wrong, I am not hating myself or my body. I am still happy. I just want to improve it some so my pants fit better and aren't reminding me of their tightness everytime I put them on.

I'm not going to post this till the 9 days are over, so if you are reading it , you will read it from beginning to end in one post, instead of reading day 9, then day8, and so on since blogger posts the most recently written first. P. S. does anyone know how to change that and read a blog from oldest to newest? Sometimes it would be nice (when reading a blog that u haven't read in a while, or ever) to actually read it in chronological order. Anyway, side note there.

I say "anyway" a lot don't I?  :)

I took some 'day 1' pictures today, I'll probably save those to post at the end so that it will be easier to compare before and after pix next to each other. But I have to admit, even though my pants bug me and when I put on a suit I felt it didn't look that great....when I saw the pictures (maybe my 'happy attitude' came through) because I looked at them and thought "gosh, those aren't that bad. Sure I'm not model-thin, but I honestly don't look that bad. If I saw that person on the beach I wouldn't think twice about them--no critical thoughts, but yet no  'yowza, wish I looked like that' thoughts either. lol
So, I guess the truth is (what I've been saying for a long time, and what my 'guess my weight' posts were about), is that we don't look nearly as bad as we sometimes think we do in our heads.

But regardless, my pants FEEL tight, so I want to loosen them up a bit. The only way to do that without going out and buying bigger sizes is to loose an inch or two. So its up to me, not my wallet to make a change.

When this 9 days is done I want to wear my purple shorts to the gym too!  ;)

Today was Day 3. I succeeded in Days 1and 2 (the days where u don't eat any REAL food and just drink these cleansing drinks (which by the way they must have changed the formula because they taste ALOT better!  [I used to have to plug my nose and try to swallow as quick as possible with the old ones-another reason why it was hard to succeed in completing the cleanse. But with these they taste great and fruity]). You also get to eat a couple almonds and these little 'snacks' they call them,but really they are just little one inch pieces of compacted chalk.  lol. That's what they taste like anyway. Chocolate or Vanilla , take your pick of your chalk flavor LOL.  No , honestly, when u are struggling on this thing they are hard to get down and they taste like chalk. But when your mindset is good (which mine is right now) you don't mind them so much. Plus if you eat the chocolate one with an almond it makes it almost taste like chocolate covered almonds lol.

Well, things are going good. As of today (Day3) I am down 5 pounds. Obviously, with a cleanse the first place u lose it is your stomach, because you really aren't eating. So for me, I can't stop now, I need to go further so I can see real results (reduction of stored fat in my thighs) in a few days. That keeps me motivated. I know that if I went off it now, the 5 pounds could come back really quick because a lot of that is water, and since I'm eating no salt, no water-retention. By continuing the cleanse, you wind up breaking cravings for sugar and junk food. So when you go back to regular eating afterwards you don't crave those things so it helps u to make better eating choices.
Mentally, all is going really well. Day 3-7 are 'shake days'. This means you drink special enzyme filled shakes (taste good) for 2 meals, some of those yummy chalky snacks, and ONE real meal of 400-600 calories which ideally should be really healthy stuff. Preferrably organic, because u are trying to rid your body of toxins with the cleanse so if you only put back into it 'good' food during the process, it makes it more successful. These days also make it easier mentally because u get to eat some real food. I personally like to EAT. REAL. FOOD. I am not a meal-replacement bar or shake type of person. I want a bowl of cereal, not a shake for breakfast. The only time I eat meal-replacement stuff is if I absolutely have no time, then I grab it on the go. Other than that, I really like to eat. I like the flavor, the texture, and I like to chew my food. Therefore, I enjoy days 3-7 more than the 'cleanse days' which are days 1-2 and 8-9.
To prepare for the shake day meals, I looked up on the calorie count of items in my house that I wanted to eat. Some things I was starting to think about or hope to eat soon. Plus lots of fruit that I just bought and didn't want to go bad. Then I took that list, picked a bunch of things that tallied up to 600 calories and said "this is what I will eat on day3". It worked really well, in fact, today I was so busy outside that I really didn't consume all the items I had planned on, but I will sort of save them  up, because once Dan gets home I know it will be harder to stay on track because I will need to be serving family dinners and we may also go out.
I had recently bought some babybel white cheddar minis (you know the ones that come wrapped in wax?) I really like the gouda, and this time I tried a sample at Sam's of the white cheddar and liked it too, along with some gluten free really yummy crackers. I bought both and was anxious to eat them at home but had to wait to Day3 to do it. So today I ate them, and ooohhhh, they were GOOD! Probably a little more so because I am appreciating every morsel that goes in my mouth right now (think-survivor contestant right after they leave tribal and are getting to eat in the car on the way to Ponderosa!), but also because when u let that cheese get close to room temperature, the flavor is immense. Very good. You should try it. I took one mini, sliced it up and put it on 7 (SEVEN!) crackers. Together it was 140 calories and it was WORTH IT!  :)
I also had a leftover fish taco and pico from the Blue Restaurant (last dinner out before Dan left) so I ate that too. That was DELISH! Its not fried, and has no grease (when u reheat it you don't see any like u do on other foods), so the only high calories come from the flour tortilla its wrapped in, so I had to guesstimate that that was about 200 calories. It was super flavorful and deliscious!
One thing I've come to realize is that when you don't have free reign of the fridge/freezer/pantry/menu... you can really enjoy those healthy choices you are making because its the only thing you are going to get. No cheetos or onion rings for you!  In fact right now, the thought of Cheetos makes me gag. That's a good sign, it means the yucky junk food is losing its hold and my body is wanting the good nourishing healthy stuff!  If we can just stay on track eating the good stuff regularily and not slipping into junk food mode, our bodies would naturally help us make better choices. Its when we make repetitive bad choices that the salt and sugar in those choices start nagging at our bodies to get more because they don't satisfy our nutritional needs. I need to remember that when I snack (after the cleanse) to make sure I get protein in it so that it will satisfy me. When I snack on nonsense, my body isn't satisfied so it asks for more and more and more and pretty soon I've eaten 3 entirely useless things, and am truthfully still 'hungry' (craving something to satisfy me) even though I am stuffed. See how wrong that is. We need to feed our bodies what it needs so it doesn't feel depleted.
That is one of the reasons for my cleanse, to shock my body into dealing with 'no junk'. Then when I start all over afterwards and can keep eating the good healthy stuff that will satisfy me and help me, instead of just sitting on my hips.
Well, that is the end of Day 3. Its going good. I'll sign back in soon.

Day 4 is almost over. Another great day. I have to say this cleanse is going really well. Because I am seeing results not only on the scale, and in the fit of my clothes (already!), but primarily in my mind and how I am thinking about food again, this is going really good. I put my swimsuit on today and hung out at the pool after church (beautiful day by the way!) and I was feeling skinny. It felt good. Then Dan came home and we headed down the street for a few minutes. Even Dan commented that my butt already looked smaller ( BIG smile on my part!)

These past two days I haven't actually eaten all that I was supposed to, but I wasn't hungry either, so I figure I'll just let it slide (in case I go over a bit later in the week). I know restricted calories isn't a good idea because it could slow your metabolism , and that is why you are on a 2 hr schedule with this cleanse to constantly be eating either a snack tab or a shake or a cleanse drink or a low-cal meal every two hrs or so. But honestly with my mind set already shifting (wanting good food instead of junk) and being busy these last couple of days, I've just missed a few. In fact right now, as I am sitting in the evening typing this in front of the tv I would normally be mindlessly snacking on something  and that something probably wouldn't be filling and therefore wouldn't satisfy, so I would keep snacking. But now that my mind is shifting (yeah) I can sit here and realize that I am NOT hungry, and use my mind to choose not to eat mindlessly. That is a great improvement. Plus using my mind, instead of snacking mindlessly, I can choose the right snacks when I am hungry. Something with some protein :)

Also, I need to mention I haven't worked out in two days... and guess what? I'm not freaking out about 'missed workouts'. Working out sometimes turns into an 'idol' for me. I am trying to change that. I know two things. I have to turn it over to God. And I have to change my mindset in order to overcome this idol in my life. For those of you who aren't familiar with the phrase 'having an idol in your life', it essentially means that something is taking over your life, it holds more importance than it should, and takes too much time and focus than it should. (And you spend more time focusing on this, than focusing on your relationship with God...there, I finally said it out loud and admitted it).  I have known for quite some time that I needed to fix this, and more importantly than that,  I know that to really fix it I have to turn it over to God. The amazing thing about these past two days with no workouts is that there was no "game plan to make up for it later" or honestly even thinking about it at all. I simply just didn't work out. I wasn't lazy. It just wasn't a 'priority'. For me, that was a positive turn too.
I did work out on Day 1 and 2, but with Day2 being the second day of 'true cleanse' my energy level was low and I had to turn it down a notch at the step class but it was fun and still a great workout. Plus I got to workout with my great friend Jen who I haven't been able to workout with in a long time.

I know I'm jumping around a bit with my topics, but its because I stop writing for a minute then when I come back to it I am thinking of another aspect that I want to talk about...right now, that topic is about how incredibly great my mindset is ,that this doesn't even feel like a cleanse. It just feels like normal every day life. And the great thing about that, is that I am completely satisfied with healthy food and less food and smaller portions than I've mindlessly consumed in the past! I am so feeling this as a lifestyle right now, rather than a cleanse, that I feel like I could go on with this for a loooonngg time. But I know you aren't supposed to. I think I read something about that four years ago that you could do 2 back to back, but then had to go off it before you did some more (???) Anyway, all this to say this is a good thing, because that is what you want to happen. You want to get your body cleaned out of the junk so it doesn't crave it so that you can eat the way God intended you to fuel for your body. Fuel for the temple He created you to live in while you are here on earth.

Day 5: was a bit harder. Mainly  due to eating dinner instead of lunch.....
On shake days when you eat a meal, you are supposed to eat that at lunch, then have a shake at dinner. This works best, because lunchtime seems to be your most hungriest anyway and then the shake tides you over till bedtime if you get a little hungry later. Plus, nutritionists always say you should eat your biggest meal earlier in the day, not at night like most of us traditionally do.  Well, Dan is back so I feel that our family dinner time should be normal (shouldn't disrupt our family time just because of my cleanse), but... I was really hungry around lunch and struggling. I really wanted my meal now, I didn't want to wait for dinner. So I asked Dan if he was interested in eating the chicken we had planned for dinner now at lunch. He said he wasn't hungry so I decided to wait. I didn't explain to him why I was asking, and I probably should have because then he probably would have agreed to eat earlier (he's been really supportive on this cleanse). But I didn't , so he didn't know, so by the time dinner came around I was ready to eat a horse today. I didn't, but it sure was a bit agonizing internally. That is not how you want the cleanse to be. You don't want it to be such a deprivation that you are craving what you aren't having. That will just backfire because you will probably go overboard when you go off it.  That is why its important to eat as the plan suggests in the afternoon.  It is just really hard to do that with a family. (Which is why the first few days when our whole family wasn't together, and we weren't having 'family meals' were so much easier).

Day6: today was back on track. I haven't been eating all the 'snack tabs' I know I'm supposed to but I haven't felt hungry and I was busy so I didn't. I know I should though, because I know you are supposed to put nutrients in your body every few hours. Today I ate my meal at lunch instead of dinner (like you are supposed to) and it was so much better than yesterday! Plus we were out and about all day, and when I'm busy there is just not much time to think about eating. This evening though when I was sitting on the computer, I felt my mind go to that place where u think you should 'snack on something' just because you are sitting here. That is one of the mind things I want to change. I don't want pointless snacking! Eat when you are hungry, not just out of boredom or routine or habit!   Fortunately, I DIDN'T, so I am still on track. Oh yeah, on a nice note, today I wore some workout shorts that I like to the gym today that I haven't worn in probably 6 months! They fit fine and I liked being able to wear them again. I want to wear ALL my workout shorts again! That's the goal, getting back into what's in my closet. I don't have to fit in my (glorious) 2007  135 pound clothes. I just want to fit in all my 140-145 pound clothes REALLY WELL!   I'm getting closer :) will keep u posted.

Day 7 I was at the office and it went really well. I wound up making dinner for my in-laws too but since I was working at the office I didn't get all grumpy about not eating my 'meal' at lunchtime, so when I ate it at dinnertime, I was fine today. Another good day.

Day 8. This is the final two days, and these days are like 1 and 2, in that instead of any real meals and shakes, you eat those chalky snack tabs every 2 hours and you drink four of these cleanse drinks, which have a pleasant fruity taste.  Today went super good. Feeling great, not craving or feeling deprived about anything. Was still at 5 pounds lost this morning. My jean capris that I love fit baggy again (which is the way I love them), one of my jean shorts are so baggy right now that I need to throw them in the wash to shrink them up some. Feeling good and going good. I'd like to take a fat percentage test at the gym to see if there is any change from this, but I didn't schedule one. Maybe next week I can do it and we'll see what happens then.   I am also liking this program so much (the shakes and cleanse drinks and such) that I am thinking of ordering some more just for a little maintenance. Not necessarily to do the whole 9day cleanse again (at least not for the next 2 weeks because I am going on vacation and believe me I will be splurging!), but to do when I get back just for regular days. Plus if I use it more as maintenance then I pretty much use it during the day, but when we go out or its family dinner time and I partake with my family instead of being segregated like I am now :(   Dan has been really great through this whole thing. I've explained to him that its not just about weight loss, its about cleaning out your system to stop the sugar and salt cravings, so he's been really supportive and ate with the girls when I wasn't around, and helped make dinner, and didn't request that I make our 'regular' family dinners on nights that I wasn't supposed to eat. He has been cool with having burgers on the grill (which he and the kids really enjoy, but I wouldn't want to eat even if I could) so its been working out ok. Only one more 'missed' family dinner then we can do our normal dinner plans together. That's good. Well, that's all for today.

Day 9:Final day of the official cleanse. Today went well. Pretty easy actually. I was at the pool today and I noticed something funny... normally when I am in my swimsuit I try to tighten my stomach muscles 'just a bit' so that I don't have some flab hanging out for my hubby to see (I want him to only see me in a perfect light at all times--I know impossible, but I really want to put my 'best foot forward' for him). Today I realized that I wasn't doing that AT ALL, and my stomach was just staying there by itself!  That is a nice part of the cleanse, not much in there, so nothing to make it stick out lol. It made me think of the folks on survivor (again), they are so restricted in their diets, there is no food in their bellys, no wonder most of them all have sunken or super flat tummys midway through the game!  Anyway, it felt nice. I did realize though that even though it was flat, when I laid on my side the center part that got all stretched out through pregnancies is still droopy no matter what. That skin has just lost its elasticity and that is all there is to it! Only a tummy tuck will help it, and I don't like surgery so that 'ain't happening', so I guess I will live with it, and Dan will have to too. (there I go again, that perfectionism streak peaking out----at least I'm honest about it, yes, even though I'm HAPPY, some things still make me 'think').
So anyway, back to day 9. Went good all day, till about 4pm when I started thinking about what we were going to do for dinner. I was supposed to drink a cleanse drink. No food. But I HATE missing family dinners with my family. I should be making them a dinner, or we should be spending time together going out for one and enjoying that together. I could easily have finished the cleanse with my drinks. No problem. I was not deprived or hungry in any way. But on an emotional level, I really hate messing up my family's dinner 'tradition' if you'll call it that. So I asked Dan, if he wanted me to make the girls something simple (they were all finally wore out on hamburgers!), or if he wanted to go to the blue restaurant. I knew I could eat 2 fish tacos there and it would be really healthy and low calorie so I wouldn't feel like it was a failure. We ended up going to the restaurant. I ate my spicy fish tacos. But I ate no chips. No queso. No lemonade. Then afterwards at our soccer party I ate no ice cream. No cookies. No brownies. No nothing! So I don't feel like I failed. I have lost 5 pounds and my CLOTHES FIT BETTER! I am not craving over junk food (I didn't eat all those sugary things available to me---if I HAD, that would have been a failure because then I would have been filling myself immediately up with all the junk I had just cleansed out of my system!)  I have only put GOOD stuff back into my body, so I feel confident that I can continue with wiser choices and try to keep this as a lifestyle.
I am LOVING the fact that my pants fit looser! 
Yes, weightloss did occur and I did this cleanse knowing that would happen, but I also did it for the 'breaking the sugar/salt' cycle. To explain a little, read on...

I wanted to take a moment to talk about the whole purpose of doing a cleanse is for. It really isn't for weightloss. However, when you do a deep cleanse, like this one, that is a side effect. Since I had done this before I knew that. However,  the cleansing of toxins out of your body is the important part. If we can get some of the toxins out of our body that are stored there it is healthier for us from the inside out. Also, during the cleanse, if you can break your body's cravings/desire for processed foods and sugar (through the absence of it), that will really make a difference in your lifestyle choices after the cleanse. You won't be desiring the junk, so you will be feeding your body what it really needs, nutrient-wise, and therefore, your body will be satisfied.  For me, that is the big goal. Get me back on track where my lifestyle is a no-brainer. I'm not making sacrifices or suffering deprivations to eat certain things, I am simply eating what is good for me because I want to. That is what I desire. So it no longer is a diet of any sort, it is simply how you live. Your lifestyle.

On a side note...
I went to a reflexology person recently. While there we began discussing other procedures they do at that office. One of them was those colonic irrigations. (Where they use a tube and water to essentially flush out old poop and toxins from your colon). I have to admit... this intrigued me. I know. It sounds gross. But on the other hand, if you can get rid of some of the build up of gross tarry, yucky, toxins that are in your body... and that would make you healthier... wouldn't that be worth it?   I'm contemplating. I told my friend, Marlenes, about it. She freaked out. She thinks I'm going to do it just because I've contemplated it enough to talk about it. I don't know. She may be right. I'll let u know if I ever decide and what the results are on that. Until then, I'll just do this oral cleanse and hope that helps some.

I spent about $200 on this cleanse (including my $40 annual membership fee so that I could buy this and future items at a discount). If anyone wants to try it let me know and I can order it for you.  I mention the cost, because I have to admit, in the beginning when I was starting it and not sure yet how it was going to go this time (since I had had both success and failures with it in the past), I told myself "I am NOT going to cheat, and ruin this and throw $200 down the drain just because I had a three minute error to eat something I shouldn't! and that could be a detriment to the program and thus make it not successful and thus make me lose my money!"  So that helped me stay motivated in the beginning, but honestly, I saw the results so quickly that then THAT kept me motivated. Plus ,except for Day 5, I have just had the greatest mental attitude and commitment about it. Its gone well. So even though I ended it about 5 hours early, I do feel it was very successful.

I had taken some "before" pictures. Today I took some "after" pictures. But you know, I don't think I'm going to post them. Truth is, its not about "look at me! look how good I look!", and I think sometimes that's what we are saying (maybe subconsciously) when we post those types of pictures. Or even if WE aren't saying that, that is what SOME people THINK you are saying when they see them. So I decided I didn't want to do that. I have the pictures for myself. They help me to see differences and visual progress. But they will remain for me to see and not you. :)    Plus, truth is, when I started this fitness blog it was really just me and my workout buddies who might read it. But now, that I've linked it to Facebook a few times, I don't know how comfortable I would feel with showing pictures of myself in a swimsuit to some of my 'friends' on FB. Its just not a side of me they may want to see, and it may be a part of my life that they aren't really involved in and therefore may not understand. To some people, I just want to remain "T and W's mom" , not that "crazy, work-out obsessed, cleansing lady who posts swimsuit pictures of herself all the time".  Because, truth is, I'm not as obsessed anymore, and I'm working on becoming even less 'obsessed'. I may cleanse, but I do it because I think its good for my body from the inside out. But my kids teachers probably want to remain to know me with my full clothes on :) so no pictures on this go-around folks!  I will say though, as I mentioned above, they weren't as bad as I'd imagined (remember u are always your worst critic, so lighten up!), and the after shots did show some improvement. But honestly for me, if my clothes are fitting the way I want them to, then I don't need a picture to prove it... I FEEL it!     A few months ago, my friend Jen can attest to this, I was obsessed with how I looked in pictures (I saw a picture that was really bad and I was like "what?! really?! is that what I look like?" So I was obsessed with figuring out how I truly looked, not in my head, but in real life. Well, the difference between then and now, is that my pants were tight (!) then. And I knew it. But in my head I was still trying to convince myself it was ok... till I saw the picture and I had to face reality that something had to be done. Whereas now, I don't need the picture, because I can FEEL that my pants fit better. Loose, in fact. So I KNOW things are on the right track.

I know I have jumped around a lot in this extremely LOOOOOONNNNNGGGGG post. If you read it all, congrats to you. Its been good to chronicle it for me and I can use it to re-read if I need a 'pick me up' some day about why I want to stay away from foods that don't satisfy and will only make me crave them. If I re-read the reminders in the post about wise and thoughtful choices, then it can help ME too to stay on track. Hope this helps you too.

That's all folks.

Oh... P. S. I did do measurements, so I WILL post those (but not the pictures), so from a 'measurement aspect' we can SEE the results.   I'll try to do that this weekend.

Correction and measurements

Update and correction on the cleanse results. I weighed in and it was actually a 6 pound loss, not 5.   :)

Here are the physical measurements to see the results. It was a total of 10.75 inches lost (wish they were all lost in one spot! That would be really impressive ha ha)

Day 1     Day 10      Location
12.75      12.5           Upper arm -left
12           12               Upper arm-right
36            35              Chest
30.75        29.75          Diaphragm
30.5            29             Waist
34.5            33            Abdomen:5" below waist:I measured this on the 'bulge' area of my tummy
40.25         39           Buttocks :9" below waist
25               24.5         Upper thigh-left
24.75         24.5           Upper thigh-right
14.25           13.75      calf-left
14.50            14          calf-right
18                17.5         upper knee-right
17.75            17.5          upper knee-left

Monday, May 2, 2011

Banana Cookies... hmmm? healthy or not?

A few weeks ago I had lots of overripe bananas. I wasn't in the mood for banana bread and I really didn't want to just toss them in the freezer, because truth is, then I forget them and they sit there for years and when I finally do try to use them I don't like dealing with the slimy-ness of thawed bananas. :)
So I went online to try to find some banana cookie recipes.
I was in luck. There were several that I found. First I decided to try the 'healthy' one. It actually did sound really good and was only 44 calories per cookie. It was made with bananas, oats, and not much else. It called for dates but I used cranberries. It didn't have any sugar or flour.
Now you know I love cookies, so when a recipe is called a 'cookie' there is a certain expectation. Well, when u are expecting a 'cookie' this recipe does not deliver :(    If it instead were called 'banana oat blobs' it probably would have been better. They actually taste fine, but they just have no cookie texture. They are super moist (possibly I put too many bananas or didn't cook them long enough), but anyway it was almost a gross moistness because it was like oats in applesauce almost.  Anyway, I didn't like them (and no one in my family did either) so I threw out the recipe.
So the next day I tried another recipe I had found. These had sugar and flour and therefore were more 'normal cookie-like". These wound up being absolutely delicious! In fact my youngest daughter kept referring to them as breakfast cookies and eating them constantly (actually I did too) they were good :)
They are certainly more than 44 calories apiece, but next time I make them I may make some modifications with flax seed, whole wheat flour, apple sauce, and Stevia which will make them more healthy. But truth is, with all those bananas they HAVE to be sort of good for you (right?)  (hopefully)

Here is the recipe (requested by my friend Min who happens to have a recipe blog site you may enjoy)...

Banana Cookies

1/2 cup unsalted butter, room temperature
1 cup of sugar  (in other cookie recipes I use 1/2cup sugar + 5 packets Stevia + 1/4 cup turbino sugar)
                                  (but I haven't tried this modification yet on this recipe)
1 egg, room temperature
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 cup mashed bananas (about 2 1/2 large bananas)
2 cups flour
pinch of salt
1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon (I use more)
1/2 teaspoon ground nutmeg
1/2 teaspoon ground cloves (I didn't used this bc a lot of reviews didn't like it, instead I used 1/2       teaspoon of allspice)
1 cup pecans or walnuts
(I also tossed in a handful of choc chips=about 1/2 cup)

Preheat ove to 350 degrees.
Cream butter and sugar together until light and fluffy.
Add egg and continue to beat till light and fluffy.

In a bowl, mix the mashed bananas and baking soda. Let sit for 2 minutes. The baking soda will react with the acid in the bananas which in turn will give the cookies their lift and rise.

Mix the banana mixture into the butter mixture. Mix together the flour, salt, and spices and sift into the butter and banana mixture and mix until  just combined.

Fold into the batter the nuts and chocolate chips if using. Drop in dollops onto parchment paper-lined baking sheet. Bake for 11-13 minutes or until nicely golden brown. Let cool on wire racks.

Makes about 30 cookies.

Yum Yum Yum!

Again, I'm not sure if they are really 'healthy' but they sure are good. And considering they really do taste like cookies (cake-type texture) they have got to be healthier than cookies that don't have bananas in them right?
Hope so  ;)

Saturday, April 23, 2011

Something to think about

I was reading an article online in the Eat This, Not That franchise and came across this article. What really struck me about all the tips was #12. It really made me think. It also made me think, that if I can consciously focus on this it could be really beneficial to my health.
As a person who loves a 'deal', and always goes for the deal (sometimes even buying things or more of things just because there is a 'deal' going on) this really hit home with me. I love the 'deal' so much and it is so ingrained in my psyche that I will spend an extra 30 minutes in a store (which I don't have, and with whining kids no less) because the salesperson just told me that if I buy another shirt I'll get it for half off (even though I am done shopping, am at the checkout counter, and have already tried on everything in the store that even remotely caught my interest, and I didn't find another shirt.). But because its a 'deal' I'll now go spend time frantically trying on things again, or trying new things that really didn't interest me the first time, just to see if I can find that top, so I can get it for half off. Insane, right? Yes, sometimes I think it is. I'm ashamed to admit it, but yes, there are things in my closet that I really didn't need to buy. And even regret some of those purchases. Sooooo, you can see that to wrap my head around the following 'tip' is going to take alot of willpower, and 'inside my head conversations', like "no, remember I don't need the bigger popcorn, its just extra calories and I'll be full and over-satisfied after the first few handfuls anyway. Stay AWAY from the extra 50cents!".  LOL
So you are probably wondering by now what this 'tip' is, so here it is re-posted from Eat This, Not That...

12 Best Restaurant Weight Loss Tips

Weight Loss Tip #12

Start small

Here’s the good news: No one is going to stop you from ordering seconds. So be like any good businessperson, and start small. Here’s exactly how expensive it really is when you go for the “bargain”:

* 7-Eleven. Gulp to Double Gulp Coca-Cola Classic: 37 cents extra buys 450 more calories
    * Cinnabon. Minibon to Classic Cinnabon: 48 more cents buys 370 more calories
      * Movie theater. Small to medium unbuttered popcorn: 71 additional cents buys you 500 more calories
        * Convenience store. Regular to “The Big One” Snickers: 33 more cents packs on 230 more calories
          * McDonald’s. Quarter Pounder with Cheese to Medium Quarter Pounder with Cheese Extra Value Meal: An additional $1.41 gets you 660 more calories
            * Subway. The 6- to 12-inch Tuna Sub: $1.53 more buys 420 more calories
              * Wendy’s. Classic Double with Cheese to Classic Double with Cheese Old Fashioned Combo Meal: $1.57 extra buys you 600 more calories
                  * Baskin Robbins. Chocolate Chip Ice Cream, Kids’ Scoop, to Double Scoop: For another $1.62, you’ve added 390 calories

                  The bottom line: For 8 bucks, you’ve bought yourself 3,620 calories. If you eat each of these foods once a week but go with the smaller size—again, your favorite foods, but more reasonable sizes—you’d save about $417 a year. That's enough to put you on a plane to the Bahamas, where you can show off your new body. After all, you’d also save 188,240 calories a year, or 54 pounds of belly fat! It's hard to imagine a better investment.
                  I always look at it in the 'here and now' version, of how much I'm saving financially right now "It's only $1.53 more for a foot long sub, than a 6" at Subway, so its a better 'deal' to buy the foot long". What I need to do is look more to the future, first of all, that all those 'little increases' DO add up to annual savings, and more importantly, that I don't need or want the extra calories of a larger item!
                  This article made an impact on me, hopefully it helps you too :)

                  Tuesday, April 19, 2011

                  amazing workout

                  I had an amazing workout today! I was so excited afterwards, because I felt that 'high', that sense of exhilaration when you know you have just had an amazing workout. It felt so great to feel that way again! I haven't felt that way in a long time. In fact, it reminded of me of how I used to feel after EVERY workout back in 2007 when I dropped 20pounds, and 20 inches, in 18 weeks. It felt good. If all my workouts start feeling like this again, I just might start kicking some butt again here in the near future :)
                  Not to mention I got to punch the punching bag today, and if I've never told you before, I LOVE punching that bag! I don't know what it is about it, but it pumps me up bigtime!
                  Anyway, just a quick note to say I hope I get some more workouts like this, because if so, this will be the kick I need to drop these 10 pounds I wouldn't mind dropping ;)

                  Friday, April 15, 2011

                  mother's Day

                  Happy Day Pink Mother's Day 5x7 folded card
                  Design personalized Mother's Day cards with Shutterfly.
                  View the entire collection of cards.

                  Little muscles?

                  I guess I've always been trying to strike a pose and show my bicep muscles...
                  its just a shame they never seem to want to come out and be seen  ha ha ha.

                  Found this picture of my brother and I from 1975 when I was 5 years old and he was 10, on a shoreline in Michigan. How cute is that?
                  p.s. I told you I was always a 'tow-head', see why I want to keep dying my hair blond? I'm trying to keep my youth lol ;0

                  Friday, April 1, 2011

                  Bodyfat% and BMI...oh my!

                  I thought that title kinda of rhymed, didn't it?  :0

                  Well, I am still at 150 (so 5 pounds less than when I posted my weight survey). I haven't been doing anything spectacular. Just typical workouts at the gym (which have changed due to new instructors), and my treadmill and/or AMT work every morning. I've been on the 'running' program I told you about earlier where I may not run 5 miles STRAIGHT, but I do cover 5 miles with bursts of running and walking. That being said, I've been doing good... I've been doing between 4-8miles everyday.
                  The thing I haven't changed much is my eating.
                  We still have been eating out 4 nights a week (and no matter how much you try to order the best thing on the menu, home cooked food I think is always going to be less calories and fat). So even though our whole family likes eating out, myself included, I don't know that its the best thing for us.
                  I'm not gorging myself on m&m's or chips, but I'm not eating 100% healthy snacks either. (Side note: I am happy to say I have NOT bought Easter candy, and am planning not to. I already have goodies like t-shirts and books and toys for their baskets, so I'm really hoping not to succumb to the pressure of the Easter candy aisle and buy that stuff. Because if its in our house, I will eat it.)
                  My plan of attack right now is to begin a more conscious focus on what I'm eating. I KNOW from past experience that this is where my downfall (weight gain) comes from. Now don't forget, I am still HAPPY. But I still want to reach my goals. My goal is to get back to 140 so all my clothes fit baggier (I like baggy clothes). I know I can't do a restrictive 'diet' though to attain this. That always backfires for me. I wind up craving and then go right back up , ever hear the term yo-yo?
                  So I am trying to just redirect my choices and that even means not ALWAYS having to go out to eat EVERY Thurs, Fri, Sat, and Sunday. In fact, last night was Thursday and I cooked a really healthy 400 calorie meal for me and the girls (Dan would not have liked it-he hates frozen fish, but he was golfing, so instead of taking that as a night to eat pizza or other junky stuff with the girls-like I normally do-I took it as a night to make something healthy that isn't his favorite. Good choice I think). Tonight is Friday, and we should be going out, but I have a pork loin already thawed that we didn't use this week because we ended up eating one night at his parent's house, so we are staying home and having that instead. Now I know we'll go out Saturday and Sunday, but at least every little bit helps and I think it really did. I have been consistently 150 for about a month now, even sometimes hovering above 150, like the needle is on the '0' heading towards 151. But today it was actually hovering in the other direction, so with a few more days of better choices I bet that will start heading towards 149... and that will be really good, because you know any time you see some progress it always motivates you to do more (at least that is how it works with me).

                  Well, I know you are reading this because of the title, so I will continue. One of the instructors at the gym mentioned that they can do free fat test percentages so I signed right up. I KNOW the number isn't going to be great, but I wanted to get the NUMBER so that I have something to compare to when I reach my goal, then ideally it will be a really cool 'fact' of progress.

                  So here goes, my BMI (body mass index) is 22.8
                  My percentage of body fat right now at 150 pounds is 26.9%

                  18.5-24.9 is normal BMI range, so I am pretty much in the middle, just a tad over. Seems pretty fine.

                  On it says that athletes are 14-20%, a fitness level for a woman is 21-24%, and  acceptable is 25-31%. So I'm falling into the 'acceptable' range. However, following their little demonstration, it looks like if I lose 10 pounds and get to 140, that I should be at 21.6% which would put me into the 'fitness' level.
                  My plan is to take this test again when I reach 140 to see what it is for comparison purposes, but I guess I can also see if it will match the results of the formula I just used too.

                  Either, I need to acheive this goal in one month, or I will have a "where I am now" number as well on May 1st, because my instructor said we are doing it again in one month to track progress. I told I just want the final results, but she was like 'no,no,no, we are going to monitor it!" ha ha. So anyway, I'll either have a final update or a 'on the way there' update to post about on May 1st.
                  Hopefully it will be good. Really its just one more tool to make sure I'm not getting lazy or getting crazy lol

                  Saturday, March 26, 2011

                  Question for before or after working out?

                  I've read and heard several different views on this.
                  Do you eat before or after a workout?
                  Some theories say you should work out on an empty stomach because then you are burning fat instead of burning what you just ate.
                  However, in contradiction to this, there is a belief that in order to keep your metabolism up, you need to eat within 30 minutes of waking up. The reason is because you have gone all night with no food and if you go much longer, your body starts to kick into 'starvation mode' where your body 'holds' onto fat instead of burning it, because it doesn't know when the next refueling/meal is coming. The normal day on this theory includes eating small meals every few hours to keep the 'fuel' coming, so your body is NOT in 'starvation mode' and thus NOT holding onto the fat, its burning it for fuel instead. The key to keeping this metabolism boosting theory working is to definately eat when you are hungry (that's your body saying refuel me, I need to burn calories) and if you don't eat, your body holds onto the fat incase it doesn't get any fuel.
                  I've tried to do this theory a bit and have even been known to wake up in the morning starving, and instead of laying in bed I'll run to the kitchen and grab a handful of blueberries to give my body some 'fuel' and then go back to bed to lay in bed and chat with my hubby. But I feel better doing that because I'm thinking "ok, I fed you body, don't kick into starvation mode and hold onto anything".

                  some theories say you need to eat a bit before you work out so that you have the nutrition/stamina for the workout, (and this goes right in line with the metabolism boosting/eat every few hours theory).

                  What do you believe and what do you do?

                  I tend to do a bit of both.
                  I usually wake up at 5:30am and go to the treadmill or AMT to get a minimum of 30minutes to a maximum of 90minutes in before my kids wake up. Then I eat a bowl of cereal (non-sugary kind like cheerios/corn flakes/rice crispies/etc) with fresh blueberries, strawberries, or raspberries on top, and with organice skim milk.  If I don't eat cereal, I may eat oatmeal with about a tablespoon of brown sugar (I should try Stevia or Agave nectar or honey, but haven't yet). Or, if I don't eat that, it may be two pieces of whole grain toast with peanut butter (protein to prepare for my classes at the gym).
                  Breakfast is at about 7:30am, and my gym class starts at 9am. After class at about 10:30 I usually eat a energy bar (different varieties, some high in protein at 200 calories, and some not high in protein, but lower in calories at about 120calories per bar). I'm often feeling a bit weak and shaky after class so I eat the bar, if I feel fine, then I wait till I get home and eat lunch at about 11:30am-noon.
                  So I tend to workout first thing in the morning on an empty stomach, but then for my second workout I am doing it on a light meal.
                  What do you do and why?
                  What theory do you think is right?

                  Wednesday, March 23, 2011

                  Running with Rene' and T

                  My daughter, in an effort to increase her endurance for soccer, has taken our advice and started running. :)
                  She is doing really good and I am excited for her. I hope she winds up liking it. Right now I'm trying to teach her how to hit heel to toe on her foot strikes, because currently she seems to just be banging them straight down with a loud whack, which is causing sore calves. Also we have been running on the asphalt (which always makes my calves sore too) so I suggested we may want to run in the grass or even on the treadmill. She is doing really  well and I told her if she wanted to do the Aquarium 5K this spring that I would do it with her. She was very excited by that and hopefully we can do it together.  :)

                  Friday, March 4, 2011

                  cookies finally gone

                  I made a lot of my favorite cookies for a school fundraiser. They didn't all sell, so of course I had to bring them home. I just finished the last one today.... so I now can finally get a little more serious about my snacking habits and hopefully see some results on the scale. Still about 150, but am aiming for 140.  I'll keep u posted :)

                  Friday, February 25, 2011

                  Resisting the temptation-hooray!

                  Tonight isa bakesale fundraiser at my daughter's school. I have been busy busy busy baking and making chocolate covered goodies for this event. I've made cranberry/white choc chip cookies, semi-sweet and milk chocolate chip cookies, no-bake cookies, chocolate chip pecan cookies, chocolate covered oreos, chocolate covered peanuts, white chocolate covered peanuts, and white chocolate covered pretzel stacks. That's a lot of sugar infused treats to be in my house at one time and I have to say.... today I passed the test. I made most of the chocolate items earlier (they stay fresh longer), but I made the cookies today (because a good cookie is only good if its fresh and to me if its over a day old its no longer fresh). While I was making these cookies today I only ate 2 cookies (normally I can gobble a half dozen before I am done baking!) And one of these was just to test it to make sure the flavor was spot on. Well, after I had made all the batches I decided to sit down with a non-perfect warm one (one of my favorites, pecan/chocolate chip) and eat it with a tall glass of milk. I poured my milk. Took my crooked cookie, and sat at the table to gaze out the window and enjoy a few peaceful minutes eating my cookie.
                  Lots and lots of bake sale items
                  But a very strange thing happened. I sat there and sort of felt sick to my stomach (the way I feel AFTER eating 6-8 cookies). I thought to myself, you know this is what I always wish WOULD happen (get the stuffed uncomfortable feeling BEFORE I slide, so that I don't slide.) Well, it finally happened, I felt yucky before eating it instead of after (when its too late and regret it), so I stopped. Looked at that cookie. Looked at my milk. And decided to not eat the cookie. This really is unheard of for me and not anywhere close to my normal behavior. So I consciously took the moment to think about it and decide to make the right choice. Why eat something if you know you are going to feel like crap afterwards? Its only worth it, if it has a positive consequence, not a negative one. I have no idea if this is a one-time fluke or if I'm onto something mentally. But I chose to forego my cookie today and I'm glad I did. 

                  Cute stickers I put on each baggie. Aren't they adorable?
                  This is my undrank glass of milk and all those beautiful cookies just waiting to be sold and make some moolah for our school :)

                  Thursday, February 24, 2011


                  Using this space to sort of track what I'm doing.  Still haven't done a workout tape lately, but my hips are getting sore from running so I may do that Fri instead of running. Tuesday I did  4.5 miles, and yesterday I did 8.75 combined miles (4.5 on the AMT and 4.25 on the treadmill, plus a 3mile walk outside with my good friend Jen). Today I got in 3.5 on the treadmill.
                  I'm still at 150, so I know in order to see some real results I need to make some wiser eating decisions (fried green beans at Louie's probably shouldn't be one of my choices. They were tasty though and I wanted to try them ). I will keep you posted. Summer is coming and that means being at the pool every day, so I'd like to be in good swimsuit condition, plus we have a trip to Vegas planned for June and since my hubby will be golfing every day I'd like to feel comfortable sitting at the pool with all those young whipper-snappers who will probably be there :)
                  So that's my progress, still working on it.

                  Monday, February 21, 2011

                  beautiful breeze

                  I've been keeping up with my running on the treadmill, doing at least 3.5 miles a day. However, I am finding it really hard to work in those BL and Jillian workout tapes. I am consistently using my weighted hula 20+minutes at least every other day, sometimes more (this is an easy exercise to squeeze in because I don't have to be in gym clothes to do it and it doesn't make me sweat so I don't have to shower after).
                  Sunday morning before church I had an amazing (albeit short) run on the treadmill with all the windows open. It felt so nice to have that cool morning breeze blowing on me and smelling the spring air even though I was inside. I'm going to need to remember to do that more often, it was great!
                  Haven't really improved my eating much lately, which I know is what holds me back. I have a huge bakesale to prepare for this week, so I know I'll be nibbling as I'm baking, but after that I am hoping to really start making wiser food choices so I can see some results on the scale and in the fit of my jeans :)  Summer is coming!

                  Friday, February 18, 2011

                  finished strong

                  Today I didn't start my day with my workout as I normally do. Instead, since my hubby was off work we didn't set an alarm and we slept in. Then after taking my oldest to school, my youngest daughter and I sat and read books for well over an hour together. Throw in a quick trip to the hairdresser to get her hair cut, then lunch, and it was off to school for her. It was a beautiful day today so I wanted to exercise outside, so after dropping her off I took a 30 minute bike ride, then came back home and grabbed my dog and went for a 1.5 mile walk/jog with her. The problem was, these bits of exercise didn't seem like enough (it was already warm enough that it was harder to run outside than I had hoped). Consequently, I was feeling a little down-trodden, like I hadn't gotten enough of a good workout in for the day, especially knowing that my hubby was going to be out late at the carshow so the girls would want to watch a movie and eat junkfood tonight. Wasn't feeling too good about my lack of effort.
                  after I finished the dog walk, I went and hopped on the treadmill and then cooled down on the AMT. I'm happy to now say I finished strong!
                  30minute bike ride
                  6.5 miles covered outside/treadmill/AMT combined

                  Thursday, February 17, 2011

                  6-pack in 6 weeks

                  Ok, so I've got a new goal. My fitness life seems to be a constant journey. A bit up and down (which I am trying to stop), but a continual process, none-the-less. Therefore, I sometimes get bored or worn out from doing the same things over and over. Other times I'm so motivated I'm like the energizer bunny going, going, and going. I'm trying to stop that up and down cycle and maintain more of an even-keel in my fitness.
                   As you know from my recent posts I've gained some weight.
                   I'm still happy,
                   but I know I need to get back into better shape... love handles are beginning to appear and my tummy is starting to want to stick out (not to mention my REAL problem areas of my butt and thighs being bigger than I like and therefore making certain pants too tight in those areas). So I am on a new plan to get my body re-energized and get back to where I prefer to be (140, 145 at the most).
                  I have been doing some sort of exercise, whether it be a class at the gym, the treadmill, outdoor running or biking, the AMT, or an aerobic DVD, 6-7 days a week for over 8 years. It honestly shocks me when my gym-rat buddies (yes, this is you, Jen) tell me that they have gone a whole week and only worked out once (this isn't normal for her, but she went through a spell many months ago where she just couldn't find the time to fit it all in). Anyway, when I'd hear that, I'd really be speechless. I have been doing this for so long, that I don't know what I'd do if I wasn't on this schedule. Its crazy, but its just part of my life. Its something normal and expected , and routine for me. Which might be part of the problem sometimes. It sometimes becomes so routine, that I begin to get bored and lose interest which results in less effort and consequently less results. However, I am re-energized to (not go to a super High -no more yo-yo's remember- but to get back on track to get some results). My plan for this is to increase my running.
                  When I was pregnant with my second daughter, I began running. Just 2 minutes at a time. But I slowly worked it up to 5 min, 8min, 10min, 15min, then 20min. After I reached the 20minute mark I began running more and more. It felt great to be reaching these goals I had never dreamed of reaching, (because if you didn't know, I used to HATE running. I was on the h.s. track team one year and HATED it the whole time. I was the absolute slowest person in every race (except 2), and it hurt my shins so bad. However, I never quit, because I'm not a quitter.)  Well, anyway, the first time I reached 5 miles, then 8 miles it was incredible. Then a friend told me I should run the --------Run. It was a 10mile run I think. I ran it, and LOVED it! I had only planned on running 5k, then walking and taking a break, then running/walking the remainder. But, I missed the 5k marker, so when I came upon the 6k marker I was like "I already went farther than I planned and I feel great, I'll just go to the next marker and see how I feel." I told myself I could stop and walk, but only once I reached a marker. Funny thing was that at every marker I felt good so I just continued on to the next one. I ended up running the whole race which totally surpassed my personal plan/goal and it was awesome. So then I figured if I can run 10, how hard could 13 be? A half-marathon was scheduled 2 weeks later, so I ran it. Its amazing what you can do when you try.

                  Anyway, this post isn't about running, so to summarize this, I ran a second Half marathon and then began training for my first marathon. I really wanted to acheive that but I found that when I was training for it I began to dislike running. I was putting too much pressure on myself for it and it wasn't fun anymore. I just couldn't will myself to do it when it was no longer fun. I wound up cancelling the marathon and pretty much quit running for about a year and a half after that. I'd jog (slowly) for a mile or two, but nothing long or serious. About a year ago, I was looking through my running log when I realized this (this lack of running) and realized I needed to pick it back up. So that is what I have been doing I've started REALLY running when I'm on my treadmill, not just lolly-gagging and getting only 1-2 miles in. I have found though that I tend to mentally get defeated when I run and get tired and want to take a break but don't. So in order to combat this I took a que from some different training methods out there and decided to set my treadmill programs up where I run a minute, then walk a minute, run, walk, run, walk, etc. I've found this new routine is working really good for me right now. I also set another program where I run about 10 minutes, then walk about 5, then run 10 again. I've found that just about the time I am ready to yell "Mercy!" the treadmill kicks back down to the 'walk' and gives me that break I need, then I'm ready for the next run and I get right back at it.
                  So all this background info, to say, that is the type of running I am doing right now to acheive my goal of getting back to 140 and toning up my mid-section again. I also am finally using REGULARILY my weighted hula-hoop (thanks Jen and Cindy for getting me back on track with this) so we will see if that helps with results as well. I have also picked up some Jillian Michaels and Biggest Loser Last Chance workout DVDs to intersperse into my workouts, as well as my gym classes. Hopefully with these new plans I will not be as bored and get back on track. Jillians DVD is "6pack in 6 weeks" so that is my first goal. Based on my body-type and how I gain/lose weight, if I get my six pack back, the other areas will get back in shape too, so it will be a total-body recovery. I'm going to give u pictures along the way to see if we can SEE any progress. You know (yes u can laugh Jen) that my ultimate triumph is when I can wear my favorite cute purple shorts again lol, so of course that is the final goal :) and a picture will of course be granted when that happens. :)
                  Here is my first picture, which by the way was taken 2/16/11 and I am at 150.

                  You can see I've got the definition (good genes I think) to get my tummy in line (I love those lines on the side and that one at the top), but I want to get rid of the little love handles forming and of course u can't see my butt and thighs yet (ha ha----later folks you'll get a pix after I get some preliminary results, I don't want to scare you with the current situation!)

                  So there u have it, my plan for the next 6 weeks and a starting point picture.  No matter what though, I want you to know I AM HAPPY. I hope you are too in whatever workout regime you are currently in. That's all folks!

                  Wednesday, January 26, 2011

                  Results of the survey & proof of my theory

                  Ok, its time for the follow-up post to the 'how much do I weigh' question. If you are reading this, you will also see that I did a 'not what I was expecting' post which you may enjoy reading as well, since it pertains to the original post too and addresses some things I hadn't foreseen.

                  Anyway, the results are in and I want to thank all of you who were willing to participate. I know it wasn't easy for all of you (in fact, lots visited the site but didn't comment). I myself thought it would be a lot easier than evidently it was, however when my friend, Jen, tossed the question back at me and made me guess HER weight (even though we frequently TELL each other our weights) I myself was struck with how hard this could be for some people. You don't want to guess too high (and offend), but yet you want to be accurate, so you can't guess too low either or that would be a waste. Anyway, I once again want to thank those of you who DID reply because your replies were exactly what I thought they would be. They completely prove my point. First off, let me share the results...

                  These were the results I received on the survey...

                  153 (most accurate because Jen knows me so well: smile)
                  133 (the only guy to reply: that tells you something, guys think you weigh WAY less than you really do!)
                  125 (haven't seen this since high school, but thanks for the vote of confidence Jennifer lol)
                  low to mid 150's
                  130-135 (Sugarberry u should be scolded for guessing so low, u are a 'follower' so u should know the last time I saw 135 was in 2007  ha ha)

                  Only 3 of these replies were even close to my actual weight.

                  My actual weight when those pictures were taken was...

                  (drumroll please lol)


                  That's right. One hundred and fifty-five.

                  Which only goes to prove what I believed all along...

                  We are much harder on ourselves than those around us are.

                  You may be struggling with some health/weight issues, but those around you don't see what you see. They are seeing you in a much more positive light than you give yourself credit for. This doesn't just apply to me. I have a friend who recently told me that she reached 170 recently. I never would have guessed it. Looking at her I would have honestly pegged her for 150, maybe 155  (she is shorter than me, which of course always makes it harder to guess when u are guessing someone who is a different height than yourself) -but regardless... I was wrong. And so were all of you!

                  We as women need to learn to be happy IN the moment, instead of always looking to a future goal or a previous moment for our happiness. I have written about this before on here, but how many times have you or someone you've known been at a weight, and instead of being HAPPY in that moment, were unhappy because they either weren't to their goal yet (something in the future), or they were heavier than a previous weight (the past). This has happened to me. I remember when I reached 140. I was so bummed out and only focused on the 120-125 of the past. Well, after I passed 140, how many times did I look back and think "wow how many wasted years did I have there of uncontentment?? if only I'd been happy then, because wow, I sure would be happy NOW if I was back at 140!"

                  That's the thing, we can't always look to our happiness to either be in the future or the past.

                  We need to learn to be happy RIGHT NOW!  I'm not saying this is an easy thing to do (it honestly has taken me a full year to get this thoroughly INSIDE my head. Not just coming out of my mouth (because I have been SAYING it for a year), but REALLY believing it and living it every day. That is why I wanted to do this survey so that I could prove to you that nothing is as bad as you may sometimes think it is. This applies to all areas of life, but yes, this is a fitness blog so we are going to focus on the fitness aspect. Chances are you look better than you give yourself credit for. Chances are you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Chances are you are faster or can run longer than you give yourself credit for. Its amazing the things we can do when we really HAVE to.
                  I know you can do it. I know you can do anything you set your mind to because God instilled in all of us a sense of purpose. (I have another blog where I share my faith and I usually save any posts that relate to scripture for that blog but God's word applies to everything we do and its really hard to not point that out because...) The truth is, God made you. He made your body. Your body is a temple to Him. He thinks its beautiful. So who are we to think any different?

                  And if you are worried about the opposite sex... did you notice that the only guy who replied was so far off (underguessing) that those few pounds that stress you out are probably not stressing out your mate at all! So please, take what I have learned from this journey over this past year and try to begin living it in your life as well. Now some of you may not be struggling with this, this sense of unhappiness, or discontentment. But a good friend I know, Pastor Chris, always says he's preaching from the heart because he wouldn't be preaching to us about it if he wasn't preaching to himself because he is or has gone through it too. Its so true. We can teach from what we know. If we have experienced it, we can help others. You don't go to a divorced person for marital advice, nor do you go to a bankcrupt person for financial advice. Go to someone who can try to lead you in the right direction because of what they have experienced. And believe me, I have been experiencing this sense of discontentment with my weight for 22 years. I decided I didn't want to waste another day living like that and so a year ago I really began focusing on being happy and content with where I was at THAT moment. My close workout buddies can attest to this. I no longer am on a single-minded quest for perfection, I am happy with where I am. I still work out and I still try to eat right (always a journey, remember?) , but by consciously working on fixing the inside (my feelings), I am fixing the outside too. I am a better mom because I am not so stressed out and angry about not acheiving a scale goal, I am a better wife because if I feel better about myself I have more to offer my husband in all arenas of our relationship together, and I am a better friend because I care more about how a person feels now instead of just cheering for them to attain a certain number on the scale.  Some of you commented that the scale isn't important to you anyway, its just how your clothes fit that matters. I agree. I want my clothes to fit good. But even if they aren't perfect, I no longer berate myself and beat myself up internally over it. I simply try to regroup and refocus, all the while being HAPPY that I am here today and I have a wonderful family and friends around me, and that I am thankful for all that God has given to me through His son, Jesus Christ.  I did the survey so that I could write this post with 'proof' to back it up. Proof that your happiness needs to come from inside you. You need to be able to say "no matter what, I am happy". If  you were one of those people who was experincing discontentment or unhappiness because of your weight I hope you will receive something positive from this post. Know that you are your most critical judge, those around you are not critiquing you the way you are yourself. So increase your sense of happiness by knowing that its really up to YOU on how you feel. Others will always think more positively than you do of yourself, so if you can make YOUR thoughts positive as well its a win-win situation for you.

                  I know I sort of rabbit-trailed here. (Anytime I start talking about God I can go in all kinds of directions! lol). But this post was intended to show you that others are going to perceive you more positively than you  might think, so go ahead and BE HAPPY with what you have and where you are! Improvement doesn't have to stop, you just need to keep being happy during your 'improvement process'  ;)

                  I hope this was a help to someone out there, and not just me. Because putting myself on the chopping block needs to rewarded with someone gaining some of the same insight I've gained this past year and applying it in their lives. Its time to go, kids are almost home, I hope you have a very Blessed day and a positive experience from this post.  :)

                  Didn't know it would have this effect

                  Ok, I'm writing this shortly after my last post (the one about the weight guess), but I'm not going to post it until I'm done with the survey.
                  But here is something I didn't expect...
                  When I was getting no replies at first, I was really bummed. I wanted people to reply because I feel confident that these replies are going to prove a point I want to make to women. I was tempted to re-post some encouragement to get folks to answer... like
                  "please do this, its not going to offend me if you guess higher than I am"
                  "Don't guess lower than you really think, just to try to flatter me"
                  "No, I'm not selling 'miracle jeans that make u look lighter than u really are' ha ha"
                  "Don't avoid this survey, because you don't want to get involved in what u are perceiving is self-absorbtion (when I post my follow-up you will see this is going to be positive for everyone, not a pat on the back to me)"
                  "Please partake in this survey regardless of your lifestyle-even if you aren't a gym-rat or health-crazed nut"
                  "Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not posting pix of me to boost my self-esteem, actually it could hurt it". But that's not what this is about, so I'm hoping that won't happen. I really want it to be about the second post that I make. But I have to do the research on the first post in order to get the results for the second post.
                  Anyway, if I don't get more replies I may do a follow up request post of some sort, but for now I am going to try to lay low and wait it out.

                  The other thing I didn't expect was my anxiety about opening a reply when one finally came in (thanks Mindy for being the first!).  I didn't expect to have that hesitation about what people were going to say. I really just wanted a cut and dry answer, but since most people who get this will know me, I guess it made it more personal and therefore I opened myself up for some potential 'hurt' if people said anything mean. When I got that first reply I realized it was sort of personal (which is why some people may not do the survey) and which I didn't expect at all. Because the follow-up post really isn't personal, its general to all women so this is just my 'research' in order to prove the follow up point. But anyway, I guess I'm human so I did get a weird feeling when I began to get replies. 

                  Hopefully, this whole thing will work out and I can prove my point instead of blowing up in my face and being a train wreck. Fingers crossed.

                  Ok, I'm going to go ahead and post this now because I am about to tally the results and post my 'follow-up post'.  Just decided that these thoughts that went through my head were worth sharing as well (because we are all human) and I thought it might help some of you too. It also sort of addresses why only got 14 replies, yet I had over 50 visitors to the site.  Hmmm, makes me think some of you were feeling the things I mentioned above (??) maybe you didn't want to get involved, didn't want to hurt me, or didn't realize that this was just the research to something much bigger and more important than how much I really weigh.
                  I realized today when reading a comment a stranger made to my friend about this survey that I really did open myself up for a ego blow. But I took a step back and thought about what was said, and reminded myself that I knew going in this could be bad, I was just willing to take the risk because as I said before
                   I AM HAPPY,
                  and that means my weight or what others think of me or my weight aren't going to change that. Therefore, I was willing to take the risk and put myself out there for all the world to see (but not in a swimsuit ha ha-I wasn't THAT crazy!) so that I could hope to try to bring some insight and encouragement to others. So here goes, I'm posting this, and off to write the follow-up posting.  Again, thanks for participating

                  Saturday, January 22, 2011

                  How much do you think I weigh?

                  Ok, so if you know me in real life or have been following this, you know that I have pretty much finally grasped this new way of life that appreciates where I AM, instead of being unhappy because I'm not at a specific goal. This isn't to say that thoughts don't come into my head that say,  'yea, that would look better if I was 5 or 10 pounds lighter', or 'hmm, should I eat this salad, or some pringles?'  It is a process you know, just like most things in life, we grow in them and grow stronger as we go. But as we go, we get stronger by making better choices, or choices that help our plan/goal and don't hinder it. That being said, I am not at my lightest, and not even at my preferred goal. But I am pretty happy anyway. In fact, I took some pictures and I want you to comment and let me know what you think I weigh based on these pictures.
                  I think when the results are in, I will be able to share something with you that will not only help prove what I've been saying for over a year, but will also help others who are on a path to improving their health.
                  I will give you this info to aid you in your vote...
                  I am 40 years old. I am 5'8".
                  Please partake in my project and cast your vote. How much do you think I currently weigh?
                  Post your comments on this blog please. If you don't have a google account, you can post a comment 'anonymously' and just sign your name at the end of it if you want me to know who you are. Or if you are like my mom and can't figure out how to 'comment' on a blog you can leave your comment on FB because I am going to put a link to this on there to try to get lots of responses.

                  P.S. These pictures aren't the best quality. It was too dark in my closet to get a good full length picture, so just do your best to guess. I did take pictures of my normal 'problem areas' (ie hips/butt) so you have close-ups of the part that shows my weight the most to help you in your guess. I guess next time I should have taken them in a better lit room with a full length mirror. Sorry.