ok, you know the drill... you throw your jeans in the dryer after washing them... and poof! they seem to have shrunk 3 sizes!!!! Well, I don't know about you, but my jeans are almost always like this (except when I lost that 20 pounds and I HAD to wash my jeans after EVERY wearing , just to try to tighten them up enough so they wouldn't fall down). Well, that's not normally the case with me, normally I don't wash my jeans after every time I wear them, because truth is they usually don't even get comfortable till after about the 3rd or 4th time wearing them. Then I wear them more and more, so hopefully they get the way I REALLY like them, just a little baggy. Then finally when its been forever, or if I spill something on them, I toss them in the wash and dryer and then start the process all over again. Dreading the first time I have to put them on again because they will be too tight and thus make me feel fat.
Well, this week, it was well overdue for me to wash three of my jean shorts. They were all so baggy it looked like my butt was dragging to the back of my knees almost! lol. These three shorts all happen to be identical. Same brand, same size, same style name, etc. Except one pair is a little darker and I like the way it fits the best. The other two LOOK identical, but for some reason one fits me much snugger than the other. Well, all three were way too baggy so I tossed them into the wash and dryer.
Now here's the good news...
I pulled them on to wear a pair this week (one of the lighter 2 pairs) and couldn't tell which pair I was putting on, the really tight pair or the semi tight pair (I told u they LOOK identical, I can only tell once I have them on which is which-usually I keep track of which is which by the belt that I just leave on them till I wear them again ha ha). Anyway, I went to put on one of the two typically tight pairs, thinking 'here we go, get to wear tight pants for 3 days till they get stretched out and comfy', and to my surprise....
they were loose! In fact after I wore them that day, after just one day, they were already so baggy in the behind I probably should throw them back in the wash to shrink them up again!
This is good news to me! I like looser, baggier clothes. Plus that means I'm not gaining weight! I am still holding strong and steady! My scale still says 145, but for these jeans to NOT be snug at all, I MUST be losing inches (and therefore gaining some muscle to keep the scale steady)! That's great news. I'm happy, just wanted to share my happiness! Hope everyone is having a great day!
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motivation. Show all posts
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Results of the survey & proof of my theory
Ok, its time for the follow-up post to the 'how much do I weigh' question. If you are reading this, you will also see that I did a 'not what I was expecting' post which you may enjoy reading as well, since it pertains to the original post too and addresses some things I hadn't foreseen.
Anyway, the results are in and I want to thank all of you who were willing to participate. I know it wasn't easy for all of you (in fact, lots visited the site but didn't comment). I myself thought it would be a lot easier than evidently it was, however when my friend, Jen, tossed the question back at me and made me guess HER weight (even though we frequently TELL each other our weights) I myself was struck with how hard this could be for some people. You don't want to guess too high (and offend), but yet you want to be accurate, so you can't guess too low either or that would be a waste. Anyway, I once again want to thank those of you who DID reply because your replies were exactly what I thought they would be. They completely prove my point. First off, let me share the results...
These were the results I received on the survey...
146
140-145
153 (most accurate because Jen knows me so well: smile)
143
147
133 (the only guy to reply: that tells you something, guys think you weigh WAY less than you really do!)
145
125 (haven't seen this since high school, but thanks for the vote of confidence Jennifer lol)
140-145
145-ish
135-145
low to mid 150's
130-135 (Sugarberry u should be scolded for guessing so low, u are a 'follower' so u should know the last time I saw 135 was in 2007 ha ha)
150
Only 3 of these replies were even close to my actual weight.
My actual weight when those pictures were taken was...
(drumroll please lol)
155
That's right. One hundred and fifty-five.
Which only goes to prove what I believed all along...
We are much harder on ourselves than those around us are.
You may be struggling with some health/weight issues, but those around you don't see what you see. They are seeing you in a much more positive light than you give yourself credit for. This doesn't just apply to me. I have a friend who recently told me that she reached 170 recently. I never would have guessed it. Looking at her I would have honestly pegged her for 150, maybe 155 (she is shorter than me, which of course always makes it harder to guess when u are guessing someone who is a different height than yourself) -but regardless... I was wrong. And so were all of you!
We as women need to learn to be happy IN the moment, instead of always looking to a future goal or a previous moment for our happiness. I have written about this before on here, but how many times have you or someone you've known been at a weight, and instead of being HAPPY in that moment, were unhappy because they either weren't to their goal yet (something in the future), or they were heavier than a previous weight (the past). This has happened to me. I remember when I reached 140. I was so bummed out and only focused on the 120-125 of the past. Well, after I passed 140, how many times did I look back and think "wow how many wasted years did I have there of uncontentment?? if only I'd been happy then, because wow, I sure would be happy NOW if I was back at 140!"
That's the thing, we can't always look to our happiness to either be in the future or the past.
We need to learn to be happy RIGHT NOW! I'm not saying this is an easy thing to do (it honestly has taken me a full year to get this thoroughly INSIDE my head. Not just coming out of my mouth (because I have been SAYING it for a year), but REALLY believing it and living it every day. That is why I wanted to do this survey so that I could prove to you that nothing is as bad as you may sometimes think it is. This applies to all areas of life, but yes, this is a fitness blog so we are going to focus on the fitness aspect. Chances are you look better than you give yourself credit for. Chances are you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Chances are you are faster or can run longer than you give yourself credit for. Its amazing the things we can do when we really HAVE to.
I know you can do it. I know you can do anything you set your mind to because God instilled in all of us a sense of purpose. (I have another blog where I share my faith and I usually save any posts that relate to scripture for that blog but God's word applies to everything we do and its really hard to not point that out because...) The truth is, God made you. He made your body. Your body is a temple to Him. He thinks its beautiful. So who are we to think any different?
And if you are worried about the opposite sex... did you notice that the only guy who replied was so far off (underguessing) that those few pounds that stress you out are probably not stressing out your mate at all! So please, take what I have learned from this journey over this past year and try to begin living it in your life as well. Now some of you may not be struggling with this, this sense of unhappiness, or discontentment. But a good friend I know, Pastor Chris, always says he's preaching from the heart because he wouldn't be preaching to us about it if he wasn't preaching to himself because he is or has gone through it too. Its so true. We can teach from what we know. If we have experienced it, we can help others. You don't go to a divorced person for marital advice, nor do you go to a bankcrupt person for financial advice. Go to someone who can try to lead you in the right direction because of what they have experienced. And believe me, I have been experiencing this sense of discontentment with my weight for 22 years. I decided I didn't want to waste another day living like that and so a year ago I really began focusing on being happy and content with where I was at THAT moment. My close workout buddies can attest to this. I no longer am on a single-minded quest for perfection, I am happy with where I am. I still work out and I still try to eat right (always a journey, remember?) , but by consciously working on fixing the inside (my feelings), I am fixing the outside too. I am a better mom because I am not so stressed out and angry about not acheiving a scale goal, I am a better wife because if I feel better about myself I have more to offer my husband in all arenas of our relationship together, and I am a better friend because I care more about how a person feels now instead of just cheering for them to attain a certain number on the scale. Some of you commented that the scale isn't important to you anyway, its just how your clothes fit that matters. I agree. I want my clothes to fit good. But even if they aren't perfect, I no longer berate myself and beat myself up internally over it. I simply try to regroup and refocus, all the while being HAPPY that I am here today and I have a wonderful family and friends around me, and that I am thankful for all that God has given to me through His son, Jesus Christ. I did the survey so that I could write this post with 'proof' to back it up. Proof that your happiness needs to come from inside you. You need to be able to say "no matter what, I am happy". If you were one of those people who was experincing discontentment or unhappiness because of your weight I hope you will receive something positive from this post. Know that you are your most critical judge, those around you are not critiquing you the way you are yourself. So increase your sense of happiness by knowing that its really up to YOU on how you feel. Others will always think more positively than you do of yourself, so if you can make YOUR thoughts positive as well its a win-win situation for you.
I know I sort of rabbit-trailed here. (Anytime I start talking about God I can go in all kinds of directions! lol). But this post was intended to show you that others are going to perceive you more positively than you might think, so go ahead and BE HAPPY with what you have and where you are! Improvement doesn't have to stop, you just need to keep being happy during your 'improvement process' ;)
I hope this was a help to someone out there, and not just me. Because putting myself on the chopping block needs to rewarded with someone gaining some of the same insight I've gained this past year and applying it in their lives. Its time to go, kids are almost home, I hope you have a very Blessed day and a positive experience from this post. :)
Anyway, the results are in and I want to thank all of you who were willing to participate. I know it wasn't easy for all of you (in fact, lots visited the site but didn't comment). I myself thought it would be a lot easier than evidently it was, however when my friend, Jen, tossed the question back at me and made me guess HER weight (even though we frequently TELL each other our weights) I myself was struck with how hard this could be for some people. You don't want to guess too high (and offend), but yet you want to be accurate, so you can't guess too low either or that would be a waste. Anyway, I once again want to thank those of you who DID reply because your replies were exactly what I thought they would be. They completely prove my point. First off, let me share the results...
These were the results I received on the survey...
146
140-145
153 (most accurate because Jen knows me so well: smile)
143
147
133 (the only guy to reply: that tells you something, guys think you weigh WAY less than you really do!)
145
125 (haven't seen this since high school, but thanks for the vote of confidence Jennifer lol)
140-145
145-ish
135-145
low to mid 150's
130-135 (Sugarberry u should be scolded for guessing so low, u are a 'follower' so u should know the last time I saw 135 was in 2007 ha ha)
150
Only 3 of these replies were even close to my actual weight.
My actual weight when those pictures were taken was...
(drumroll please lol)
155
That's right. One hundred and fifty-five.
Which only goes to prove what I believed all along...
We are much harder on ourselves than those around us are.
You may be struggling with some health/weight issues, but those around you don't see what you see. They are seeing you in a much more positive light than you give yourself credit for. This doesn't just apply to me. I have a friend who recently told me that she reached 170 recently. I never would have guessed it. Looking at her I would have honestly pegged her for 150, maybe 155 (she is shorter than me, which of course always makes it harder to guess when u are guessing someone who is a different height than yourself) -but regardless... I was wrong. And so were all of you!
We as women need to learn to be happy IN the moment, instead of always looking to a future goal or a previous moment for our happiness. I have written about this before on here, but how many times have you or someone you've known been at a weight, and instead of being HAPPY in that moment, were unhappy because they either weren't to their goal yet (something in the future), or they were heavier than a previous weight (the past). This has happened to me. I remember when I reached 140. I was so bummed out and only focused on the 120-125 of the past. Well, after I passed 140, how many times did I look back and think "wow how many wasted years did I have there of uncontentment?? if only I'd been happy then, because wow, I sure would be happy NOW if I was back at 140!"
That's the thing, we can't always look to our happiness to either be in the future or the past.
We need to learn to be happy RIGHT NOW! I'm not saying this is an easy thing to do (it honestly has taken me a full year to get this thoroughly INSIDE my head. Not just coming out of my mouth (because I have been SAYING it for a year), but REALLY believing it and living it every day. That is why I wanted to do this survey so that I could prove to you that nothing is as bad as you may sometimes think it is. This applies to all areas of life, but yes, this is a fitness blog so we are going to focus on the fitness aspect. Chances are you look better than you give yourself credit for. Chances are you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Chances are you are faster or can run longer than you give yourself credit for. Its amazing the things we can do when we really HAVE to.
I know you can do it. I know you can do anything you set your mind to because God instilled in all of us a sense of purpose. (I have another blog where I share my faith and I usually save any posts that relate to scripture for that blog but God's word applies to everything we do and its really hard to not point that out because...) The truth is, God made you. He made your body. Your body is a temple to Him. He thinks its beautiful. So who are we to think any different?
And if you are worried about the opposite sex... did you notice that the only guy who replied was so far off (underguessing) that those few pounds that stress you out are probably not stressing out your mate at all! So please, take what I have learned from this journey over this past year and try to begin living it in your life as well. Now some of you may not be struggling with this, this sense of unhappiness, or discontentment. But a good friend I know, Pastor Chris, always says he's preaching from the heart because he wouldn't be preaching to us about it if he wasn't preaching to himself because he is or has gone through it too. Its so true. We can teach from what we know. If we have experienced it, we can help others. You don't go to a divorced person for marital advice, nor do you go to a bankcrupt person for financial advice. Go to someone who can try to lead you in the right direction because of what they have experienced. And believe me, I have been experiencing this sense of discontentment with my weight for 22 years. I decided I didn't want to waste another day living like that and so a year ago I really began focusing on being happy and content with where I was at THAT moment. My close workout buddies can attest to this. I no longer am on a single-minded quest for perfection, I am happy with where I am. I still work out and I still try to eat right (always a journey, remember?) , but by consciously working on fixing the inside (my feelings), I am fixing the outside too. I am a better mom because I am not so stressed out and angry about not acheiving a scale goal, I am a better wife because if I feel better about myself I have more to offer my husband in all arenas of our relationship together, and I am a better friend because I care more about how a person feels now instead of just cheering for them to attain a certain number on the scale. Some of you commented that the scale isn't important to you anyway, its just how your clothes fit that matters. I agree. I want my clothes to fit good. But even if they aren't perfect, I no longer berate myself and beat myself up internally over it. I simply try to regroup and refocus, all the while being HAPPY that I am here today and I have a wonderful family and friends around me, and that I am thankful for all that God has given to me through His son, Jesus Christ. I did the survey so that I could write this post with 'proof' to back it up. Proof that your happiness needs to come from inside you. You need to be able to say "no matter what, I am happy". If you were one of those people who was experincing discontentment or unhappiness because of your weight I hope you will receive something positive from this post. Know that you are your most critical judge, those around you are not critiquing you the way you are yourself. So increase your sense of happiness by knowing that its really up to YOU on how you feel. Others will always think more positively than you do of yourself, so if you can make YOUR thoughts positive as well its a win-win situation for you.
I know I sort of rabbit-trailed here. (Anytime I start talking about God I can go in all kinds of directions! lol). But this post was intended to show you that others are going to perceive you more positively than you might think, so go ahead and BE HAPPY with what you have and where you are! Improvement doesn't have to stop, you just need to keep being happy during your 'improvement process' ;)
I hope this was a help to someone out there, and not just me. Because putting myself on the chopping block needs to rewarded with someone gaining some of the same insight I've gained this past year and applying it in their lives. Its time to go, kids are almost home, I hope you have a very Blessed day and a positive experience from this post. :)
Didn't know it would have this effect
Ok, I'm writing this shortly after my last post (the one about the weight guess), but I'm not going to post it until I'm done with the survey.
But here is something I didn't expect...
When I was getting no replies at first, I was really bummed. I wanted people to reply because I feel confident that these replies are going to prove a point I want to make to women. I was tempted to re-post some encouragement to get folks to answer... like
"please do this, its not going to offend me if you guess higher than I am"
"Don't guess lower than you really think, just to try to flatter me"
"No, I'm not selling 'miracle jeans that make u look lighter than u really are' ha ha"
"Don't avoid this survey, because you don't want to get involved in what u are perceiving is self-absorbtion (when I post my follow-up you will see this is going to be positive for everyone, not a pat on the back to me)"
"Please partake in this survey regardless of your lifestyle-even if you aren't a gym-rat or health-crazed nut"
"Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not posting pix of me to boost my self-esteem, actually it could hurt it". But that's not what this is about, so I'm hoping that won't happen. I really want it to be about the second post that I make. But I have to do the research on the first post in order to get the results for the second post.
Anyway, if I don't get more replies I may do a follow up request post of some sort, but for now I am going to try to lay low and wait it out.
The other thing I didn't expect was my anxiety about opening a reply when one finally came in (thanks Mindy for being the first!). I didn't expect to have that hesitation about what people were going to say. I really just wanted a cut and dry answer, but since most people who get this will know me, I guess it made it more personal and therefore I opened myself up for some potential 'hurt' if people said anything mean. When I got that first reply I realized it was sort of personal (which is why some people may not do the survey) and which I didn't expect at all. Because the follow-up post really isn't personal, its general to all women so this is just my 'research' in order to prove the follow up point. But anyway, I guess I'm human so I did get a weird feeling when I began to get replies.
Hopefully, this whole thing will work out and I can prove my point instead of blowing up in my face and being a train wreck. Fingers crossed.
1/26/11
Ok, I'm going to go ahead and post this now because I am about to tally the results and post my 'follow-up post'. Just decided that these thoughts that went through my head were worth sharing as well (because we are all human) and I thought it might help some of you too. It also sort of addresses why only got 14 replies, yet I had over 50 visitors to the site. Hmmm, makes me think some of you were feeling the things I mentioned above (??) maybe you didn't want to get involved, didn't want to hurt me, or didn't realize that this was just the research to something much bigger and more important than how much I really weigh.
I realized today when reading a comment a stranger made to my friend about this survey that I really did open myself up for a ego blow. But I took a step back and thought about what was said, and reminded myself that I knew going in this could be bad, I was just willing to take the risk because as I said before
I AM HAPPY,
and that means my weight or what others think of me or my weight aren't going to change that. Therefore, I was willing to take the risk and put myself out there for all the world to see (but not in a swimsuit ha ha-I wasn't THAT crazy!) so that I could hope to try to bring some insight and encouragement to others. So here goes, I'm posting this, and off to write the follow-up posting. Again, thanks for participating
But here is something I didn't expect...
When I was getting no replies at first, I was really bummed. I wanted people to reply because I feel confident that these replies are going to prove a point I want to make to women. I was tempted to re-post some encouragement to get folks to answer... like
"please do this, its not going to offend me if you guess higher than I am"
"Don't guess lower than you really think, just to try to flatter me"
"No, I'm not selling 'miracle jeans that make u look lighter than u really are' ha ha"
"Don't avoid this survey, because you don't want to get involved in what u are perceiving is self-absorbtion (when I post my follow-up you will see this is going to be positive for everyone, not a pat on the back to me)"
"Please partake in this survey regardless of your lifestyle-even if you aren't a gym-rat or health-crazed nut"
"Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not posting pix of me to boost my self-esteem, actually it could hurt it". But that's not what this is about, so I'm hoping that won't happen. I really want it to be about the second post that I make. But I have to do the research on the first post in order to get the results for the second post.
Anyway, if I don't get more replies I may do a follow up request post of some sort, but for now I am going to try to lay low and wait it out.
The other thing I didn't expect was my anxiety about opening a reply when one finally came in (thanks Mindy for being the first!). I didn't expect to have that hesitation about what people were going to say. I really just wanted a cut and dry answer, but since most people who get this will know me, I guess it made it more personal and therefore I opened myself up for some potential 'hurt' if people said anything mean. When I got that first reply I realized it was sort of personal (which is why some people may not do the survey) and which I didn't expect at all. Because the follow-up post really isn't personal, its general to all women so this is just my 'research' in order to prove the follow up point. But anyway, I guess I'm human so I did get a weird feeling when I began to get replies.
Hopefully, this whole thing will work out and I can prove my point instead of blowing up in my face and being a train wreck. Fingers crossed.
1/26/11
Ok, I'm going to go ahead and post this now because I am about to tally the results and post my 'follow-up post'. Just decided that these thoughts that went through my head were worth sharing as well (because we are all human) and I thought it might help some of you too. It also sort of addresses why only got 14 replies, yet I had over 50 visitors to the site. Hmmm, makes me think some of you were feeling the things I mentioned above (??) maybe you didn't want to get involved, didn't want to hurt me, or didn't realize that this was just the research to something much bigger and more important than how much I really weigh.
I realized today when reading a comment a stranger made to my friend about this survey that I really did open myself up for a ego blow. But I took a step back and thought about what was said, and reminded myself that I knew going in this could be bad, I was just willing to take the risk because as I said before
I AM HAPPY,
and that means my weight or what others think of me or my weight aren't going to change that. Therefore, I was willing to take the risk and put myself out there for all the world to see (but not in a swimsuit ha ha-I wasn't THAT crazy!) so that I could hope to try to bring some insight and encouragement to others. So here goes, I'm posting this, and off to write the follow-up posting. Again, thanks for participating
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Where do I start...
Well, if you've been reading this you know that I got pretty mad lately when I realized that all the clothes that should fit me, didn't. I also said I was going to make a change , and I am. I don't have all the figures yet (yes I promised to post measurements too and haven't yet), but I started this mess at 155 and I've already lost 5 pounds just by not eating JUNK, so I'm at 150. I was hoping after my 5 days in Houston I'd be UNDER 150 because the clothes that I took to wear there (that were going to be really tight, remember I was punishing myself lol), weren't that tight and were actually presentable in public. Still tighter than I like, but I could tell already that I had lost some by the way they fit. Good news.
I still want to get under 140. That is my goal. I want to stay there. That is my MAJOR goal. THAT goal is going to require a different gameplan than I have ever used in the past. So let me share some things I learned recently through a not-so-fun conversation with my husband, and share how some things have changed in my head which I believe will be instrumental in helping me attain my goals.
First off, some history.
I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted until my freshman year of college when I gorged myself and wound up with stomaches (u'd think that would have told me to stop) and gained 25 (!) pounds. In h.s. I LITERALLY ate 5 HUGE servings of ice cream every day during the summer and ate all the candy bars I could find. I didn't have much pop, cookies, or chips bc my mom didn't keep them in our house, but I certainly made up for it with the ice cream, didn't I? I only weighed 120-125 then.
Well, fast forward several years, and unfortunately I realized I stillhave had this mentality.
When I'd reach my goal, I'd hold fast for awhile (even a few months), then I'd fall back into this old way of thinking that "I'm skinny, I can eat whatever I want". Well, guess what. I don't have the same metabolism that I had at 17 and I can't do that! So consequently, my weight since college has gone up and down, up and down, up and down, about 20 pounds in each direction. No fun.
Well, in talking to Dan, he made me realize that yes, people probably do 'crave' or "want' some things, but they make choices NOT to eat them. He himself does this. I get myself into my pity parties, whining to myself that its "not fair" that others can eat anything and not work out, or never seem to battle weight, but I do. So he made me realize that for most people (yes there are those lucky few who have such a great metabolism it doesn't seem to matter at all what they do), but for MOST people, they are making WISE choices. I wasn't. I was in la-la land thinking I could do one thing (eat anything) , but reality is , I can't (anymore). I am coming to face this reality head-on with the maturity of an adult. I'm not going to whine that its 'not fair'. I am going to accept it , and then deal with the cards I am being dealt. I am going to make wise choices. I am not going to eat candy bars/chips/ice cream all the time just because someone else might be partaking, including my kids. AND I'm reducing the amount of that stuff in our house so that they can start making healthier choices instead of always choosing crap for a snack. I'm not cutting it all out, because I think that can cause problems for kids, and its not fair to them to go cold-turkey on this when its not THEIR problem, its mine. But with less and less of it around, I am sure I will see them making better choices too, which of course can only be good news for them and their lives to grow up making wise food choices.
In our discussion, Dan couldn't get over the fact that I told him, that yes, in my head I really do want all that junk. I want (or used to) want to eat it. SO, in my mind, the step I'm in now is to NOT want it. To CHOOSE the jeans that fit and the happiness that brings, instead of the momentary taste of that item in my mouth. I purposely kept those hideous pictures I posted earlier on my camera, so that if I am out and about and about to falter, I can pull up those pictures and remind myself that NO I DON"T WANT THAT JUNK, not in my mouth, nor in my trunk!
I watch some people always trying to eat the healthy thing on a menu or plate, and I used to think (that's so sad, it seems so depressing to never get the 'good stuff' which is really the CRAP). Now I realize that they were doing what Dan talked about. They were making wise choices, they knew they couldn't eat anything they wanted to all the time, so they were making good choices so that they didn't have to battle yo-yo's all their days. I'm almost 40 (yes, I really do wish I still had the body and metabolism I had at 16-17. But I don't... so) I'm going to have to be more diligent in my choices ALL THE TIME, not just when I'm on a 'kick' to lose it then gain it all back because of that old la-la land mentality that doesn't work for me anymore (obviously). So there u have it, that's my game plan... realizing that it IS going to take EFFORT, but that effort will be well rewarded and worth it in the LONG RUN, not just in short runs. I'm not in la-la land anymore, I am facing this head-on and its just the way it is. Is it fair? probably not, but its life.
I still want to get under 140. That is my goal. I want to stay there. That is my MAJOR goal. THAT goal is going to require a different gameplan than I have ever used in the past. So let me share some things I learned recently through a not-so-fun conversation with my husband, and share how some things have changed in my head which I believe will be instrumental in helping me attain my goals.
First off, some history.
I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted until my freshman year of college when I gorged myself and wound up with stomaches (u'd think that would have told me to stop) and gained 25 (!) pounds. In h.s. I LITERALLY ate 5 HUGE servings of ice cream every day during the summer and ate all the candy bars I could find. I didn't have much pop, cookies, or chips bc my mom didn't keep them in our house, but I certainly made up for it with the ice cream, didn't I? I only weighed 120-125 then.
Well, fast forward several years, and unfortunately I realized I still
When I'd reach my goal, I'd hold fast for awhile (even a few months), then I'd fall back into this old way of thinking that "I'm skinny, I can eat whatever I want". Well, guess what. I don't have the same metabolism that I had at 17 and I can't do that! So consequently, my weight since college has gone up and down, up and down, up and down, about 20 pounds in each direction. No fun.
Well, in talking to Dan, he made me realize that yes, people probably do 'crave' or "want' some things, but they make choices NOT to eat them. He himself does this. I get myself into my pity parties, whining to myself that its "not fair" that others can eat anything and not work out, or never seem to battle weight, but I do. So he made me realize that for most people (yes there are those lucky few who have such a great metabolism it doesn't seem to matter at all what they do), but for MOST people, they are making WISE choices. I wasn't. I was in la-la land thinking I could do one thing (eat anything) , but reality is , I can't (anymore). I am coming to face this reality head-on with the maturity of an adult. I'm not going to whine that its 'not fair'. I am going to accept it , and then deal with the cards I am being dealt. I am going to make wise choices. I am not going to eat candy bars/chips/ice cream all the time just because someone else might be partaking, including my kids. AND I'm reducing the amount of that stuff in our house so that they can start making healthier choices instead of always choosing crap for a snack. I'm not cutting it all out, because I think that can cause problems for kids, and its not fair to them to go cold-turkey on this when its not THEIR problem, its mine. But with less and less of it around, I am sure I will see them making better choices too, which of course can only be good news for them and their lives to grow up making wise food choices.
In our discussion, Dan couldn't get over the fact that I told him, that yes, in my head I really do want all that junk. I want (or used to) want to eat it. SO, in my mind, the step I'm in now is to NOT want it. To CHOOSE the jeans that fit and the happiness that brings, instead of the momentary taste of that item in my mouth. I purposely kept those hideous pictures I posted earlier on my camera, so that if I am out and about and about to falter, I can pull up those pictures and remind myself that NO I DON"T WANT THAT JUNK, not in my mouth, nor in my trunk!
I watch some people always trying to eat the healthy thing on a menu or plate, and I used to think (that's so sad, it seems so depressing to never get the 'good stuff' which is really the CRAP). Now I realize that they were doing what Dan talked about. They were making wise choices, they knew they couldn't eat anything they wanted to all the time, so they were making good choices so that they didn't have to battle yo-yo's all their days. I'm almost 40 (yes, I really do wish I still had the body and metabolism I had at 16-17. But I don't... so) I'm going to have to be more diligent in my choices ALL THE TIME, not just when I'm on a 'kick' to lose it then gain it all back because of that old la-la land mentality that doesn't work for me anymore (obviously). So there u have it, that's my game plan... realizing that it IS going to take EFFORT, but that effort will be well rewarded and worth it in the LONG RUN, not just in short runs. I'm not in la-la land anymore, I am facing this head-on and its just the way it is. Is it fair? probably not, but its life.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
I'm BAAACKKK! yahoo!
I guess I need to give u some history before I can share my great news of my comeback, so here goes...
Last Friday, I cried myself to sleep.
After having a very unsuccessful time of trying on all my summer shorts and capris, that did NOT fit! Very upsetting. I've been fooling myself that everything was ok with my fitness level and weight because those jeans I bought this winter still fit, albeit a bit tighter, but they still fit, so I was fooling myself that I wasn't gaining weight and all was ok. Well, its not ok. All my other jeans, that are a bit smaller don't fit at all, so I have to wake up from this delusion and face the facts that I am gaining weight because I am eating crap. Too many sugary snacks, ice cream, and cookies. I still work out, but not as intensely as I used to during the great year of 2007 ( my awesome year when I got to 135 pounds and was NOT on a diet, it was simply that I ate good food and not crap, and worked out like a maniac).
So that did it. I got mad. I only see REAL results when I get mad. I haven't been mad lately because as you've seen from my previous posts I've been pretty happy just coasting. Sure I wanted to lose a few pounds but I wasn't upset enough about it (because those expensive jeans still fit) in order to make any serious effort. My husband is right, I'm a yo-yo in my fitness regime and therefore a yo-yo in my weight. Nothing extreme like 100 pounds, but within 15 pounds either way. Doesn't sound like too much when u watch Biggest Loser, but for me 5 pounds is a jean size, so 15 is actually pretty significant. Its the difference between wearing clothes in my closet, or not even fitting in them because they are so disgustingly tight its pathetic. I personally hate it when my pants get so tight in the thighs that there is a little 'window' u can see through right at your crotch (because my inner thighs are sticking out and thus touching) ugh! yuck! I HATE that! Other people probably have other areas that bother them more, but since I gain weight in my thighs and butt first, those are the areas that piss me off when I see them grow. So as u can tell, I am MAD! And fortunately, that means good things for me...
Saturday I woke up and I made a change. A change in attitude. A change in my mind. A definate new motivation. So, I say... I'MMMMM BBAAAACCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!
The following is my intake and cal burn for the last few days. (u can scroll quick if u don't care-its sort of just for me to keep me accountable. I didn't look up all the cal counts on the foods yet, and I may not. When I did that in the past it became a bit too controlled. I just want to make wise choices to put good things in my mouth, and when I do make a decision to eat something unhealthy I want to do it in moderation so that there is no regret.)
Sat:
880 calories burned: fun run, treadmill run, AMT
2 cups cheerios/skim milk
1 C strawberries
2 slices english muffin bread (YUM) with 1T butter (about 240cal combined)
3 carrots
2 small croissant turkey,sprouts,pickle,1slice salami sandwiches (I know,croissants are the worst bread choice, but I really like them).
dinner out:3 C tabouli
5 grilled shrimp
2 fried shrimp
1 baked potatoe with chives,cheese,& butter
Sun.
423 calories used on bike and short run, plus did 30minutes with the weighted hula hoop
1C cheerios w/ skim milk
banana
1 C raspberries
2 sandwiches(like yesterday)
1C tabouli (brought some home from the restaurant)
2 grape tomatoes
1 string cheese
1/2 cinn roll (100 cal)--I nibbled on the girls' that I made them-shouldn't have-wasn't worth it.
1 t butter
2C spagetti squash w/salt/pepper
Monday
540 calories used on treadmill and AMT
1C cheerios w/skim milk
banana
1C tabouli
1/2C strawberries
1 mini snickers(after I ate it I craved more sugar-yuck, so I ate more berries instead :)
4 hard boiled egg whites
2C grapes
porkloin/roasted
6 carrots
1 potato with butter and salt/roasted
Tues:
1250 calories on AMT and gym classes, plus digging in yard to make garden
1C cheerios with milk
2 bananas
2C strawberries
2 sloppy joes
salad + olive garden italian dressing(big cal on the dressing, but this is the only dressing that I use a lot of, usually I just eat my salads without dressing)
apple
2 oranges
3 celery
15 cheese crackers(organic) 130cal (this was my snack/treat bc I was starting to crave something, so I counted out the serving size of 15 crackers instead of eating the whole bag which I have been known to do in the past.)
So there you have it. Not 100% perfect (fried shrimp, dressing, butter), but lots of really good healthy stuff (egg whites, fruits and veggies). I wanted to have zero sugary snacks for at least 3 days straight to break the craving that sugar does in your body, I caved with the snickers and the bites of cinn roll, but I don't feel bad, its still pretty good and I made wise choices to go for the berries when I wanted sweet things, and maintained portion control on my cracker snack. So I feel I am doing good and headed on the right path. If I stay motivated (and mad ha ha) my eating habits will change (like they did before) and I'll only desire the good food, and the mozzerella sticks and ice cream won't even be tempting me anymore. That's my goal, to get back to a complete change in food intake. I know exercise is important, but as anyone who works out a lot like me knows... what really dictates your body shape and size is what u put into it. That is my main goal to focus on that. I did have great gym workouts and I feel the intensity returning to my workouts, so that is good too.
By the way, I don't think I mentioned it, but when I was trying on the clothes that were too tight I got on the scale afterwards and sure enough I had gained 5 pounds and was now at 150-ugh that makes me mad!!!!!
After 3 days of refocusing my food intake to healthy things I am already back to 145. Now my goal is to work towards my 2007 weight of 135 again. Help me on my journey, will ya? :)
Last Friday, I cried myself to sleep.
After having a very unsuccessful time of trying on all my summer shorts and capris, that did NOT fit! Very upsetting. I've been fooling myself that everything was ok with my fitness level and weight because those jeans I bought this winter still fit, albeit a bit tighter, but they still fit, so I was fooling myself that I wasn't gaining weight and all was ok. Well, its not ok. All my other jeans, that are a bit smaller don't fit at all, so I have to wake up from this delusion and face the facts that I am gaining weight because I am eating crap. Too many sugary snacks, ice cream, and cookies. I still work out, but not as intensely as I used to during the great year of 2007 ( my awesome year when I got to 135 pounds and was NOT on a diet, it was simply that I ate good food and not crap, and worked out like a maniac).
So that did it. I got mad. I only see REAL results when I get mad. I haven't been mad lately because as you've seen from my previous posts I've been pretty happy just coasting. Sure I wanted to lose a few pounds but I wasn't upset enough about it (because those expensive jeans still fit) in order to make any serious effort. My husband is right, I'm a yo-yo in my fitness regime and therefore a yo-yo in my weight. Nothing extreme like 100 pounds, but within 15 pounds either way. Doesn't sound like too much when u watch Biggest Loser, but for me 5 pounds is a jean size, so 15 is actually pretty significant. Its the difference between wearing clothes in my closet, or not even fitting in them because they are so disgustingly tight its pathetic. I personally hate it when my pants get so tight in the thighs that there is a little 'window' u can see through right at your crotch (because my inner thighs are sticking out and thus touching) ugh! yuck! I HATE that! Other people probably have other areas that bother them more, but since I gain weight in my thighs and butt first, those are the areas that piss me off when I see them grow. So as u can tell, I am MAD! And fortunately, that means good things for me...
Saturday I woke up and I made a change. A change in attitude. A change in my mind. A definate new motivation. So, I say... I'MMMMM BBAAAACCCKKKKK!!!!!!!!
The following is my intake and cal burn for the last few days. (u can scroll quick if u don't care-its sort of just for me to keep me accountable. I didn't look up all the cal counts on the foods yet, and I may not. When I did that in the past it became a bit too controlled. I just want to make wise choices to put good things in my mouth, and when I do make a decision to eat something unhealthy I want to do it in moderation so that there is no regret.)
Sat:
880 calories burned: fun run, treadmill run, AMT
2 cups cheerios/skim milk
1 C strawberries
2 slices english muffin bread (YUM) with 1T butter (about 240cal combined)
3 carrots
2 small croissant turkey,sprouts,pickle,1slice salami sandwiches (I know,croissants are the worst bread choice, but I really like them).
dinner out:3 C tabouli
5 grilled shrimp
2 fried shrimp
1 baked potatoe with chives,cheese,& butter
Sun.
423 calories used on bike and short run, plus did 30minutes with the weighted hula hoop
1C cheerios w/ skim milk
banana
1 C raspberries
2 sandwiches(like yesterday)
1C tabouli (brought some home from the restaurant)
2 grape tomatoes
1 string cheese
1/2 cinn roll (100 cal)--I nibbled on the girls' that I made them-shouldn't have-wasn't worth it.
1 t butter
2C spagetti squash w/salt/pepper
Monday
540 calories used on treadmill and AMT
1C cheerios w/skim milk
banana
1C tabouli
1/2C strawberries
1 mini snickers(after I ate it I craved more sugar-yuck, so I ate more berries instead :)
4 hard boiled egg whites
2C grapes
porkloin/roasted
6 carrots
1 potato with butter and salt/roasted
Tues:
1250 calories on AMT and gym classes, plus digging in yard to make garden
1C cheerios with milk
2 bananas
2C strawberries
2 sloppy joes
salad + olive garden italian dressing(big cal on the dressing, but this is the only dressing that I use a lot of, usually I just eat my salads without dressing)
apple
2 oranges
3 celery
15 cheese crackers(organic) 130cal (this was my snack/treat bc I was starting to crave something, so I counted out the serving size of 15 crackers instead of eating the whole bag which I have been known to do in the past.)
So there you have it. Not 100% perfect (fried shrimp, dressing, butter), but lots of really good healthy stuff (egg whites, fruits and veggies). I wanted to have zero sugary snacks for at least 3 days straight to break the craving that sugar does in your body, I caved with the snickers and the bites of cinn roll, but I don't feel bad, its still pretty good and I made wise choices to go for the berries when I wanted sweet things, and maintained portion control on my cracker snack. So I feel I am doing good and headed on the right path. If I stay motivated (and mad ha ha) my eating habits will change (like they did before) and I'll only desire the good food, and the mozzerella sticks and ice cream won't even be tempting me anymore. That's my goal, to get back to a complete change in food intake. I know exercise is important, but as anyone who works out a lot like me knows... what really dictates your body shape and size is what u put into it. That is my main goal to focus on that. I did have great gym workouts and I feel the intensity returning to my workouts, so that is good too.
By the way, I don't think I mentioned it, but when I was trying on the clothes that were too tight I got on the scale afterwards and sure enough I had gained 5 pounds and was now at 150-ugh that makes me mad!!!!!
After 3 days of refocusing my food intake to healthy things I am already back to 145. Now my goal is to work towards my 2007 weight of 135 again. Help me on my journey, will ya? :)
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