Friday, June 26, 2009

145=normal weight?

Well, way back when, I wrote about getting down to 141 on my goal to 135 pounds (what I weighed the summer of 2007). Then I told you how it had gone back to 145. Well its still there. It hasn't moved an inch. I haven't been scrutinizing my eating-just eating pretty normal without completely gobbling every cookie or ice cream cone in a 100 mile radius. So I've come to the realization that with normal workouts and normal eating, 145 seems to be my "regular weight". The weight at which my body just tends to hover. With extreme unhealthy overeating it will increase, or with more disciplined eating and a bit more work outs it will decrease. However, with just maintaining and still eating ice cream or other snacks several times a week, I stay at 145.

Now I'm telling you this to say... for right now... I am ok with this.

I am not going to beat myself up over it because I haven't gotten to the 135 I was trying to get back too, and I am also not going to get depressed and eat the cow that provided me with the ice cream either. I am simply just going to chill and enjoy the summer without putting condemnation on myself that my body is not "perfect". It never was and never will be.

As a society, we women put so much pressure on ourselves with our bodies and looks that it causes so many unhealthy results and unhappy people. Airbrushing should be outlawed because we will never look like the ladies in the magazines, because THEY don't even really look like that in real life. We see these pictures and we want to look like that. Its not real. I really want to embrace reality in our bodies. I liked it when the Dove ads ran with women of normal shapes and sizes. It showed that these were REAL people, and they weren't all rail-thin. Gosh, I feel bad for the celebrities, they get thinner and thinner, so that now in real life they look horrible, yet in photos they still look bigger than they really are. Its insane.

Anyway, all this to say that... I am not on an extreme workout program right now. After 5 years of running, I am sort of taking a break from it. I just want to walk or workout on my "gem" instead of running right now. I know this interferes with my marathon training program. And everyone keeps asking me if I'm still going to do it and the truth is , if I hadn't already paid the $80 to sign up, I'd immediately say "no". Instead, I would just like to do some walking and do my gym classes till I feel motivated to kick it up a notch again. However, because I am so frugal and I already paid for it, I don't feel like I can just give it up. I'm hoping I can convince someone who is going to run it who hasn't registered yet, to give me the money instead and take my registration. Then I won't feel like I wasted the money. (told you I'm cheap!)

I don't want u to think I'm getting lazy and giving up. I'm just taking a break for now. I've been increasing my running for the past 5 years, and I think I finally just want to take a break from it. I don't feel like "increasing" it to the next level right now (the marathon), I just want to coast and take a small break. The thought of HAVING to run, just bums me out and I don't want to do it. I don't know if its the heat of summer or the fact that now that the girls are older and we can enjoy the pool more together or what. But I don't want to spend hours inside during the day on the treadmill, instead I want to play with the girls in the pool. When the pool closes and T goes back to school I'll probably use W's naptime to get back on my old workout program, but for now, I just want to enjoy summer and not condemn myself because I missed my runs on my marathon training program. One of the reasons I wanted to run the marathon was not only to just say I HAD DONE IT, but also because I think it would have made my husband really proud of me and the accomplishment. I always want him to be proud of me. However, he is even telling me to forget about the money and just don't do it. So, my conflict was, do I push through to make him proud and accomplish something I think would be neat to have accomplished. Or do I lay off the pressure of it all and just relax a bit. I think over the last couple of days I have finally decided and I think I choose to relax a bit.

The only thing to be careful of is not to over-relax and make stupid menu/eating decisions. As I taught the ladies at church... I (PERSONALLY) need to remember that my body is a temple God created and it is my job as His steward to take good care of it. Don't feed it crap. Even if they are organic(and thus not crap) don't eat a dozen cookies at at time either! :)

So there u have it. I am not focusing on any great long-distance goal. But I am going to be happy with myself and not beat myself up over the scale saying 145. Because in fact, (I may not be at 135-which was my lowest post-children weight), but I am not at my highest non-pregnancy weight (which was 155) either. So I have to look on the positive, that when I was 155, I would have been OVERJOYED to be wearing my 145 clothes. So even though those 135 capris are too tight, I am being positive in the fact that I am wearing 145's, and not 155's.

We seem to do that to ourselves as women too. We never appreciate where we are. We always think we are too fat at any age. But then u look back and u are like "man, I'd love to be that way again". Unfortunately, even THEN, u weren't happy because u were trying to be something else.

SO... I vow to be happy. But not stupid. I will not overendulge in things that do not produce efficient fuel for this temple. I'm not perfect, but I'm realizing that I need to appreciate exactly where I am. I may wear those new black pants to the gym, and my butt may jiggle a bit (ok, probably A LOT if we are jumping up and down), but I will embrace everything about me-the good , the bad, and the (hopefully not TOO) ugly. LOL

I don't know if this post is just a bunch of rambling to you. But hopefully, you can get something positive out of it. We are all women that God created. He loved, and still loves us. We need to help each other, not tear each other down. The support of our friends, especially our Godly friends, is a beautiful gift. I treasure it. Be blessed and have a wonderful day!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Bootcamp at the football field

Wow! I just got home from a new bootcamp class some friends and I took that was being offerred for free at our local high school football field. I DID NOT expect what I encountered! I thought, "oh , it will just be a few ladies (stay at home moms who don't go to a regular gym, who are just getting their "feet wet" with a free class that is probably run by someone at the school" I heard it was hard, but I thought "yeah, but WHO'S saying its hard? Someone like me who works out all the time, or someone who never works out and this is new for them?"
Wow, was I in for a shock! It WAS hard. Yes, there were lots of moms with kids there (all 22 of us), and yes, some looked like this was probably their first time. But that did not stop the "drill sargeant" from laying it all on us! We started out with a warm up jog aroung the field-no big deal. I'm thinking we'll follow this up with some jumping jacks, maybe some sprints back and forth the field(like what u would do on a basketball court), some bleacher running for sure, and maybe some sit ups or some other type of "h.s. gym class" type of exercises. I did NOT expect to break into groups and go thru 5 minute circuit training that included FLIPPING A 5 foot in diameter TRACTOR TIRE side over side 10 times, then turn around and do it again, and again, and again! Nor did I expect to take a car tire and (try) to toss it over my head without using my knee or stomach for leverage, over and over and over again! (yes, I cheated and used my knee and stomach for leverage several times--you did notice how I said "try" to do this? I'm not quite sure how successful I was in this area). Then our third circuit was alternating between walking lunches, running with a huge bag of sand over our shoulder, and running with a keg filled with water in our arms----uuuuugggghhhhh! Finally our fourth circuit was running 3 sets of bleachers up and down, then sprinting behind them and doing it over again 2 more times. I have to admit that was my favorite part. I love repetitive high stepping simple moves. (leave the tires out of it puuulllleeeeaaasssseeeeee!) Then we all joined back up again for burpees-I hate these, and crab walks, I am beginning to really hate these too as our gym instructor Shelley has integrated these into our workouts now too (where do these instructors get these insane ideas???!!!). Then we went over to a longer set of bleachers and we all lined up and just ran up and down them a dozen times or so. Then to top it off she made us do 2-footed jumps from the ground to the bleacher. I was actually happy I could do this. I had seen it on Biggest Loser, and was never sure if I could jump that high, but I could, which was pretty cool. Then we came back to the field and did some planks and a few strectches, then we ended with a Word/scripture and some group prayer-that was definately pretty cool. I really love living in the Bible Belt where people are open with their belief in God and are willing and able to share it. It certainly has made for some really strong friendships based on similar beliefs and values.
The neat thing about this whole thing is that its completely free, and they even have some people to watch your kids if your kids are really young. Mine were old enough to hang out with their friends (my friends' kids) and watch us or play with the balls and jumpropes we brought. I thought that was really cool-I wonder if they have some sort of grant that is enabling them to do this, because that is a lot of time and effort to do completely without compensation, considering it was an hour, and they offer it 4 days a week (2 at the football field, and 2 at a church in town). Anyway, however they have worked it out to provide it, it is pretty cool. I don't know how many more I can go to based on my schedule, but it was fun and definately a good workout, and definately new! :)

new workout gear

Ok, I REALLY am going to stop swinging by Academy and Sports Authority to check out their sales, because I REALLY need to stop buying more workout clothes. I definately have enough! I've realized why I'm doing this is (obviously I like to shop-but we already knew that!) is because I've decided not to buy any regular summer clothes like shorts and capris because I think I have enough (can u believe I am actually admitting that?!-don't let my husband read this eh, or he'll never let me live it down that I actually admitted I have enough of something!) So... to satisfy my "shopping desire" I've been buying workout clothes like a madwoman-actually I could put on a fashion show with pictures of all the new stuff I've bought this summer, but I won't do that-probably too boring. But I did want to post this new outfit. One, because it has a really pretty back (although there I am trying to pose and flex my muscles, but the problem is I don't see any! What's the deal with that!? At the gym when I'm lifting weights I see them. Is it the lighting there that casts shadows on the muscle ridges, or is it that when I have weights in my hands that's the only time they show? Probably both. Bummer, but no biceps here--but it is a pretty back isn't it?) And two, because I normally don't wear these kind of pants (but I do think the whole outfit together is cute), so I took some pictures before I took the tags off to make sure I really like the outfit enough to feel comfortable in it and keep it. Its a stretch for me. I'm not one of those people who wears tight or form-fitting clothing anywear (Not even those form fitting black pants that all the girls have been wearing for a couple years), so I had to make sure my confidence was up there enough to wear it. I showed Jen some more of the pix to get her opinion (is it obscene or ok to wear this? ), she gave the go-ahead (although, I do have to point out that I had no pictures of my behind in these pants-so IF I do wear them to the gym , she may regret her decision to recommend that I wear them once she's beside me and we start doing "running man" or something and my butt starts jiggling like a basketball!) Beware! ha ha

Anyway, here is another picture that shows the pants have this cute band on top that matches the green tops. I really do like it, I just hope I feel ok enough to wear it. Go ahead and weigh in, and tell me what U think. The tags are still on it, should I return it or keep it? Gosh , I could have made this a poll-ha ha.