Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Results of the survey & proof of my theory

Ok, its time for the follow-up post to the 'how much do I weigh' question. If you are reading this, you will also see that I did a 'not what I was expecting' post which you may enjoy reading as well, since it pertains to the original post too and addresses some things I hadn't foreseen.

Anyway, the results are in and I want to thank all of you who were willing to participate. I know it wasn't easy for all of you (in fact, lots visited the site but didn't comment). I myself thought it would be a lot easier than evidently it was, however when my friend, Jen, tossed the question back at me and made me guess HER weight (even though we frequently TELL each other our weights) I myself was struck with how hard this could be for some people. You don't want to guess too high (and offend), but yet you want to be accurate, so you can't guess too low either or that would be a waste. Anyway, I once again want to thank those of you who DID reply because your replies were exactly what I thought they would be. They completely prove my point. First off, let me share the results...

These were the results I received on the survey...

153 (most accurate because Jen knows me so well: smile)
133 (the only guy to reply: that tells you something, guys think you weigh WAY less than you really do!)
125 (haven't seen this since high school, but thanks for the vote of confidence Jennifer lol)
low to mid 150's
130-135 (Sugarberry u should be scolded for guessing so low, u are a 'follower' so u should know the last time I saw 135 was in 2007  ha ha)

Only 3 of these replies were even close to my actual weight.

My actual weight when those pictures were taken was...

(drumroll please lol)


That's right. One hundred and fifty-five.

Which only goes to prove what I believed all along...

We are much harder on ourselves than those around us are.

You may be struggling with some health/weight issues, but those around you don't see what you see. They are seeing you in a much more positive light than you give yourself credit for. This doesn't just apply to me. I have a friend who recently told me that she reached 170 recently. I never would have guessed it. Looking at her I would have honestly pegged her for 150, maybe 155  (she is shorter than me, which of course always makes it harder to guess when u are guessing someone who is a different height than yourself) -but regardless... I was wrong. And so were all of you!

We as women need to learn to be happy IN the moment, instead of always looking to a future goal or a previous moment for our happiness. I have written about this before on here, but how many times have you or someone you've known been at a weight, and instead of being HAPPY in that moment, were unhappy because they either weren't to their goal yet (something in the future), or they were heavier than a previous weight (the past). This has happened to me. I remember when I reached 140. I was so bummed out and only focused on the 120-125 of the past. Well, after I passed 140, how many times did I look back and think "wow how many wasted years did I have there of uncontentment?? if only I'd been happy then, because wow, I sure would be happy NOW if I was back at 140!"

That's the thing, we can't always look to our happiness to either be in the future or the past.

We need to learn to be happy RIGHT NOW!  I'm not saying this is an easy thing to do (it honestly has taken me a full year to get this thoroughly INSIDE my head. Not just coming out of my mouth (because I have been SAYING it for a year), but REALLY believing it and living it every day. That is why I wanted to do this survey so that I could prove to you that nothing is as bad as you may sometimes think it is. This applies to all areas of life, but yes, this is a fitness blog so we are going to focus on the fitness aspect. Chances are you look better than you give yourself credit for. Chances are you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Chances are you are faster or can run longer than you give yourself credit for. Its amazing the things we can do when we really HAVE to.
I know you can do it. I know you can do anything you set your mind to because God instilled in all of us a sense of purpose. (I have another blog where I share my faith and I usually save any posts that relate to scripture for that blog but God's word applies to everything we do and its really hard to not point that out because...) The truth is, God made you. He made your body. Your body is a temple to Him. He thinks its beautiful. So who are we to think any different?

And if you are worried about the opposite sex... did you notice that the only guy who replied was so far off (underguessing) that those few pounds that stress you out are probably not stressing out your mate at all! So please, take what I have learned from this journey over this past year and try to begin living it in your life as well. Now some of you may not be struggling with this, this sense of unhappiness, or discontentment. But a good friend I know, Pastor Chris, always says he's preaching from the heart because he wouldn't be preaching to us about it if he wasn't preaching to himself because he is or has gone through it too. Its so true. We can teach from what we know. If we have experienced it, we can help others. You don't go to a divorced person for marital advice, nor do you go to a bankcrupt person for financial advice. Go to someone who can try to lead you in the right direction because of what they have experienced. And believe me, I have been experiencing this sense of discontentment with my weight for 22 years. I decided I didn't want to waste another day living like that and so a year ago I really began focusing on being happy and content with where I was at THAT moment. My close workout buddies can attest to this. I no longer am on a single-minded quest for perfection, I am happy with where I am. I still work out and I still try to eat right (always a journey, remember?) , but by consciously working on fixing the inside (my feelings), I am fixing the outside too. I am a better mom because I am not so stressed out and angry about not acheiving a scale goal, I am a better wife because if I feel better about myself I have more to offer my husband in all arenas of our relationship together, and I am a better friend because I care more about how a person feels now instead of just cheering for them to attain a certain number on the scale.  Some of you commented that the scale isn't important to you anyway, its just how your clothes fit that matters. I agree. I want my clothes to fit good. But even if they aren't perfect, I no longer berate myself and beat myself up internally over it. I simply try to regroup and refocus, all the while being HAPPY that I am here today and I have a wonderful family and friends around me, and that I am thankful for all that God has given to me through His son, Jesus Christ.  I did the survey so that I could write this post with 'proof' to back it up. Proof that your happiness needs to come from inside you. You need to be able to say "no matter what, I am happy". If  you were one of those people who was experincing discontentment or unhappiness because of your weight I hope you will receive something positive from this post. Know that you are your most critical judge, those around you are not critiquing you the way you are yourself. So increase your sense of happiness by knowing that its really up to YOU on how you feel. Others will always think more positively than you do of yourself, so if you can make YOUR thoughts positive as well its a win-win situation for you.

I know I sort of rabbit-trailed here. (Anytime I start talking about God I can go in all kinds of directions! lol). But this post was intended to show you that others are going to perceive you more positively than you  might think, so go ahead and BE HAPPY with what you have and where you are! Improvement doesn't have to stop, you just need to keep being happy during your 'improvement process'  ;)

I hope this was a help to someone out there, and not just me. Because putting myself on the chopping block needs to rewarded with someone gaining some of the same insight I've gained this past year and applying it in their lives. Its time to go, kids are almost home, I hope you have a very Blessed day and a positive experience from this post.  :)

Didn't know it would have this effect

Ok, I'm writing this shortly after my last post (the one about the weight guess), but I'm not going to post it until I'm done with the survey.
But here is something I didn't expect...
When I was getting no replies at first, I was really bummed. I wanted people to reply because I feel confident that these replies are going to prove a point I want to make to women. I was tempted to re-post some encouragement to get folks to answer... like
"please do this, its not going to offend me if you guess higher than I am"
"Don't guess lower than you really think, just to try to flatter me"
"No, I'm not selling 'miracle jeans that make u look lighter than u really are' ha ha"
"Don't avoid this survey, because you don't want to get involved in what u are perceiving is self-absorbtion (when I post my follow-up you will see this is going to be positive for everyone, not a pat on the back to me)"
"Please partake in this survey regardless of your lifestyle-even if you aren't a gym-rat or health-crazed nut"
"Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not posting pix of me to boost my self-esteem, actually it could hurt it". But that's not what this is about, so I'm hoping that won't happen. I really want it to be about the second post that I make. But I have to do the research on the first post in order to get the results for the second post.
Anyway, if I don't get more replies I may do a follow up request post of some sort, but for now I am going to try to lay low and wait it out.

The other thing I didn't expect was my anxiety about opening a reply when one finally came in (thanks Mindy for being the first!).  I didn't expect to have that hesitation about what people were going to say. I really just wanted a cut and dry answer, but since most people who get this will know me, I guess it made it more personal and therefore I opened myself up for some potential 'hurt' if people said anything mean. When I got that first reply I realized it was sort of personal (which is why some people may not do the survey) and which I didn't expect at all. Because the follow-up post really isn't personal, its general to all women so this is just my 'research' in order to prove the follow up point. But anyway, I guess I'm human so I did get a weird feeling when I began to get replies. 

Hopefully, this whole thing will work out and I can prove my point instead of blowing up in my face and being a train wreck. Fingers crossed.

Ok, I'm going to go ahead and post this now because I am about to tally the results and post my 'follow-up post'.  Just decided that these thoughts that went through my head were worth sharing as well (because we are all human) and I thought it might help some of you too. It also sort of addresses why only got 14 replies, yet I had over 50 visitors to the site.  Hmmm, makes me think some of you were feeling the things I mentioned above (??) maybe you didn't want to get involved, didn't want to hurt me, or didn't realize that this was just the research to something much bigger and more important than how much I really weigh.
I realized today when reading a comment a stranger made to my friend about this survey that I really did open myself up for a ego blow. But I took a step back and thought about what was said, and reminded myself that I knew going in this could be bad, I was just willing to take the risk because as I said before
and that means my weight or what others think of me or my weight aren't going to change that. Therefore, I was willing to take the risk and put myself out there for all the world to see (but not in a swimsuit ha ha-I wasn't THAT crazy!) so that I could hope to try to bring some insight and encouragement to others. So here goes, I'm posting this, and off to write the follow-up posting.  Again, thanks for participating

Saturday, January 22, 2011

How much do you think I weigh?

Ok, so if you know me in real life or have been following this, you know that I have pretty much finally grasped this new way of life that appreciates where I AM, instead of being unhappy because I'm not at a specific goal. This isn't to say that thoughts don't come into my head that say,  'yea, that would look better if I was 5 or 10 pounds lighter', or 'hmm, should I eat this salad, or some pringles?'  It is a process you know, just like most things in life, we grow in them and grow stronger as we go. But as we go, we get stronger by making better choices, or choices that help our plan/goal and don't hinder it. That being said, I am not at my lightest, and not even at my preferred goal. But I am pretty happy anyway. In fact, I took some pictures and I want you to comment and let me know what you think I weigh based on these pictures.
I think when the results are in, I will be able to share something with you that will not only help prove what I've been saying for over a year, but will also help others who are on a path to improving their health.
I will give you this info to aid you in your vote...
I am 40 years old. I am 5'8".
Please partake in my project and cast your vote. How much do you think I currently weigh?
Post your comments on this blog please. If you don't have a google account, you can post a comment 'anonymously' and just sign your name at the end of it if you want me to know who you are. Or if you are like my mom and can't figure out how to 'comment' on a blog you can leave your comment on FB because I am going to put a link to this on there to try to get lots of responses.

P.S. These pictures aren't the best quality. It was too dark in my closet to get a good full length picture, so just do your best to guess. I did take pictures of my normal 'problem areas' (ie hips/butt) so you have close-ups of the part that shows my weight the most to help you in your guess. I guess next time I should have taken them in a better lit room with a full length mirror. Sorry.