Ok, its time for the follow-up post to the 'how much do I weigh' question. If you are reading this, you will also see that I did a 'not what I was expecting' post which you may enjoy reading as well, since it pertains to the original post too and addresses some things I hadn't foreseen.
Anyway, the results are in and I want to thank all of you who were willing to participate. I know it wasn't easy for all of you (in fact, lots visited the site but didn't comment). I myself thought it would be a lot easier than evidently it was, however when my friend, Jen, tossed the question back at me and made me guess HER weight (even though we frequently TELL each other our weights) I myself was struck with how hard this could be for some people. You don't want to guess too high (and offend), but yet you want to be accurate, so you can't guess too low either or that would be a waste. Anyway, I once again want to thank those of you who DID reply because your replies were exactly what I thought they would be. They completely prove my point. First off, let me share the results...
These were the results I received on the survey...
146
140-145
153 (most accurate because Jen knows me so well: smile)
143
147
133 (the only guy to reply: that tells you something, guys think you weigh WAY less than you really do!)
145
125 (haven't seen this since high school, but thanks for the vote of confidence Jennifer lol)
140-145
145-ish
135-145
low to mid 150's
130-135 (Sugarberry u should be scolded for guessing so low, u are a 'follower' so u should know the last time I saw 135 was in 2007 ha ha)
150
Only 3 of these replies were even close to my actual weight.
My actual weight when those pictures were taken was...
(drumroll please lol)
155
That's right. One hundred and fifty-five.
Which only goes to prove what I believed all along...
We are much harder on ourselves than those around us are.
You may be struggling with some health/weight issues, but those around you don't see what you see. They are seeing you in a much more positive light than you give yourself credit for. This doesn't just apply to me. I have a friend who recently told me that she reached 170 recently. I never would have guessed it. Looking at her I would have honestly pegged her for 150, maybe 155 (she is shorter than me, which of course always makes it harder to guess when u are guessing someone who is a different height than yourself) -but regardless... I was wrong. And so were all of you!
We as women need to learn to be happy IN the moment, instead of always looking to a future goal or a previous moment for our happiness. I have written about this before on here, but how many times have you or someone you've known been at a weight, and instead of being HAPPY in that moment, were unhappy because they either weren't to their goal yet (something in the future), or they were heavier than a previous weight (the past). This has happened to me. I remember when I reached 140. I was so bummed out and only focused on the 120-125 of the past. Well, after I passed 140, how many times did I look back and think "wow how many wasted years did I have there of uncontentment?? if only I'd been happy then, because wow, I sure would be happy NOW if I was back at 140!"
That's the thing, we can't always look to our happiness to either be in the future or the past.
We need to learn to be happy RIGHT NOW! I'm not saying this is an easy thing to do (it honestly has taken me a full year to get this thoroughly INSIDE my head. Not just coming out of my mouth (because I have been SAYING it for a year), but REALLY believing it and living it every day. That is why I wanted to do this survey so that I could prove to you that nothing is as bad as you may sometimes think it is. This applies to all areas of life, but yes, this is a fitness blog so we are going to focus on the fitness aspect. Chances are you look better than you give yourself credit for. Chances are you are stronger than you give yourself credit for. Chances are you are faster or can run longer than you give yourself credit for. Its amazing the things we can do when we really HAVE to.
I know you can do it. I know you can do anything you set your mind to because God instilled in all of us a sense of purpose. (I have another blog where I share my faith and I usually save any posts that relate to scripture for that blog but God's word applies to everything we do and its really hard to not point that out because...) The truth is, God made you. He made your body. Your body is a temple to Him. He thinks its beautiful. So who are we to think any different?
And if you are worried about the opposite sex... did you notice that the only guy who replied was so far off (underguessing) that those few pounds that stress you out are probably not stressing out your mate at all! So please, take what I have learned from this journey over this past year and try to begin living it in your life as well. Now some of you may not be struggling with this, this sense of unhappiness, or discontentment. But a good friend I know, Pastor Chris, always says he's preaching from the heart because he wouldn't be preaching to us about it if he wasn't preaching to himself because he is or has gone through it too. Its so true. We can teach from what we know. If we have experienced it, we can help others. You don't go to a divorced person for marital advice, nor do you go to a bankcrupt person for financial advice. Go to someone who can try to lead you in the right direction because of what they have experienced. And believe me, I have been experiencing this sense of discontentment with my weight for 22 years. I decided I didn't want to waste another day living like that and so a year ago I really began focusing on being happy and content with where I was at THAT moment. My close workout buddies can attest to this. I no longer am on a single-minded quest for perfection, I am happy with where I am. I still work out and I still try to eat right (always a journey, remember?) , but by consciously working on fixing the inside (my feelings), I am fixing the outside too. I am a better mom because I am not so stressed out and angry about not acheiving a scale goal, I am a better wife because if I feel better about myself I have more to offer my husband in all arenas of our relationship together, and I am a better friend because I care more about how a person feels now instead of just cheering for them to attain a certain number on the scale. Some of you commented that the scale isn't important to you anyway, its just how your clothes fit that matters. I agree. I want my clothes to fit good. But even if they aren't perfect, I no longer berate myself and beat myself up internally over it. I simply try to regroup and refocus, all the while being HAPPY that I am here today and I have a wonderful family and friends around me, and that I am thankful for all that God has given to me through His son, Jesus Christ. I did the survey so that I could write this post with 'proof' to back it up. Proof that your happiness needs to come from inside you. You need to be able to say "no matter what, I am happy". If you were one of those people who was experincing discontentment or unhappiness because of your weight I hope you will receive something positive from this post. Know that you are your most critical judge, those around you are not critiquing you the way you are yourself. So increase your sense of happiness by knowing that its really up to YOU on how you feel. Others will always think more positively than you do of yourself, so if you can make YOUR thoughts positive as well its a win-win situation for you.
I know I sort of rabbit-trailed here. (Anytime I start talking about God I can go in all kinds of directions! lol). But this post was intended to show you that others are going to perceive you more positively than you might think, so go ahead and BE HAPPY with what you have and where you are! Improvement doesn't have to stop, you just need to keep being happy during your 'improvement process' ;)
I hope this was a help to someone out there, and not just me. Because putting myself on the chopping block needs to rewarded with someone gaining some of the same insight I've gained this past year and applying it in their lives. Its time to go, kids are almost home, I hope you have a very Blessed day and a positive experience from this post. :)
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Great post. I am not terribly happy with my body at the moment, but I am content. My husband finds me exhaustingly sexy all the time, so thankfully that has not been an issue with me for most of the last twenty years. My OWN 'perfectionism' is what keeps me on a constant desire to be 'better'... but at least at this point I'm striving to do it in a healthy way AND to be content with myself on the journey rather than just waiting on an end goal.
ReplyDeleteI'm curious, too, as to how much age plays into this. If I had done this poll at 30 instead of 40, I know my answers would have been far different. I have students & friends 10 years younger than me and hearing their thoughts about themselves, the things they are doing to lose weight make me stress FOR them, because I did the EXACT same thing.
NOT that age always brings wisdom or anything, I'm just a slow student!! I had to work past a lot lot lot of emotional issues, self esteem issues and a really unpleasant childhood that really shaped my sense of self.
Adding fitness goals and focusing on something other than #s have helped me come a long way. I'm starting to appreciate getting toned, instead of just trying to fit into 'skinny' jeans.
Anyway, great post/series/whatever bloggers call it. I found it very interesting and am looking forward to reading all the comments!
I think the results also speak to pressure women feel from society, and how out of touch many people are with what "healthy" weight is or looks like or even should be.
ReplyDeleteSizes have changed, possibly just for vanity's sake, but I tell you what, many of my old clothes (that still fit me) are 3 or 4 sizes larger than the clothes I buy in stores now. They are the same size, but somebody said "thinner is better" let's change the sizes. Ridiculous. (I tried on jeans in Paris, where they have both metric and US sizes listed. None of the ones I tried in my typical US size fit--are they more honest?? Who knows!)
You are right, it proves that we can't tell by looking, and likely we are focusing on imperfections we see in ourselves that others don't notice. Like my feeling that my thighs are "fat." I'm the only one who feels that way, I am at a healthy weight, but it is tough to let those things go.
(I knew where you were heading with this survey, and STILL guessed wrong!!)
I was going to be the first commenter here, too, but I must have edited too long, darn it!!!
ReplyDeleteWell said my dear friend! I hope I’ve grown and matured with you over this past year. I think I have!?!?! Anyway, I agree…the number on the scale is not NEARLY as important to me as how I feel in my clothes. I want to look a certain way (lean) more than I want to be a certain weight. Maybe that means I’m not as mature as you are yet. :)
ReplyDeleteEither way, I’m proud of what you’ve accomplished over this past year. You're right...we have to enjoy the journey...not just the destination. But for the record I think you look FABULOUS. I know…that’s opposite of what you’re trying to say here…but really, you DO look amazing. I’m not just saying that. I’ve SEEN you in your skivvies…and you don’t have stretch marks and rolls and cellulite galore. You might not have Dan’s biceps :) but you certainly have a beautiful womanly body. I would love to have your abs…but I digress….I will try very hard to be satisfied with my own. :) Love you friend and I hope you didn’t get your feelings too hurt by the guesses..!?!
I am going to learn from this and try to quit wondering if everyone is thinking "I can't believe she is a fitness instructor and is that flabby!" :)
Ps. Would all the people who guessed Rene weighs 145 or less please go over to my blog and guess my weight?!? :) ha ha ha
ReplyDeleteMindy :)
ReplyDeletethanks for not being afraid and jumping right in. I totally agree with everything u said too. (I just didn't want to rabbit-trail TOO much, I have a bad habit of doing that on ANY topic!) So true though. The biggest problem with women feeling good about them is the pressure from society that they don't measure up to all the fake-air-brushed pictures they see. I could also go on and on about plastic surgery bc it saddens me that I think most of the reason people get it is because they feel bad about themselves due to societal pressures instead of just doing it bc they want to. If they want to fine, but if society is causing them to feel bad, that makes me sad (and angry). The sizing thing-too true, I've felt this too and mentioned it before. When we were in school I don't remember anything on the racks smaller than a 3. I had never even heard of a zero or one existing. In fact once in a dressing room I heard an older woman talking about fitting into a 1, and I thought "I have NEVER fit in a 1 even when I was 120 pounds and 5'8" !!! How can this be!? I think they changed the sizes too. Thanks for all the feedback, talk to u later
GREAT Post Rene! I think I may link it to my blog...if you don't mind.
ReplyDeleteI agree with the size changes. I have a pair of 518 super low rise Levi's in a size 7 (from 8-10 years ago), which actually fit me perfect! I have the same EXACT jeans now in size 3 (which are to big) and size 1(which fit just like the size 7 from 8+years ago)....hmmmmm
Great post! I read it through the link on Kandy's blog. I've been trying to go from weighing everyday and tracking every morsel I put in my mouth to just weighing once a week and listening to my body more, rather than relying on a piece of paper to tell me if I should/should not eat any more for the day. I'm trying to embrace my post-baby body and all of the miracles it has just performed, but it's a struggle for me. Thanks for the reminder!
ReplyDelete