Saturday, July 31, 2010

Progress report

I'm on my second day of vacation, and I'm still doing good. Today I actually REALLY wanted some ice cream -because it was so hot and because I couldn't eat much of anything (I'll explain later) and ice cream always go down really easy for me. But I didn't. Instead I grabbed a peach and 2 pieces of string cheese. Was very satisfying too so I'm glad I refrained. I haven't told anybody this, and I haven't really made a 'bet' with myself, but I'm sort of trying to see how long I can go with NO junk. Its going good so far :)

So to explain last night, yesterday we ate at a really great authentic mexican restaurant. I ate the most delicious shredded beef tacos ever. Very flavorful :) But they didn't bode so well with me (probably because my body was already kind of wacked out from the long bumpy (love these roads) ride here. I've come to realize that long car bumpy car rides sort of make me sick. Well combine that with these spicy tacos... oh it was a very long no-sleep filled night. I literally slept only a few hours and was in the bathroom on the toilet and trying to puke the rest of the night and early morning. I never did puke (I wish I had, because I know I would have felt better if I had) but was still very queasy with a sensitive stomach all day today, which means I ate only bland/healthy food and very little of it. Fortunately I feel better now so when we head to Sea World tomorrow I hope to be a peak form and have full energy and stamina for the day's events.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Best (and very healthy) meal I ever made!

A few weeks ago my husband taught me how to use the grill (I blogged on my other site about this). May sound simple, but I had no idea how to turn it on without fear of blowing it up. So now that I've learned I'm made some absolutely FABULOUS marinated chicken on it as well as veggies. Its the best way I like to eat chicken and since chix is about the only meat I eat, its nice to finally have a way to cook it that I actually look forward to eating it. (I'm not much of a meat person if u can tell). So I decided to try my marinade on shrimp ( I love flavorful grilled shrimp at restaurants but have never been able to duplicate it trying to grill them on the stove).
They were AWESOME! Best meal I ever made. Dan AND the girls loved them too (I didn't even make plain ones for the girls and they STILL loved them marinated!) I'm going to get them eating a wider variety of food yet, eh?
Well, anyway, it'd be nice if I could post some fancy homemade marinade sauce recipe for you. But I just use packets from the seasoning aisle. They are McCormick's Grill Mates. Tonight's flavor was Mojito Lime. FANTASTICO! And besides being delicious, its so incredibly healthy to cook on the grill! LOVING IT! (except for the sweating part. I came in at one point and my face was drenched in sweat and my daughter was like "Whoa what happened to you?!" lol

By the way I read to cook each side for 2 minutes. I did them a bit longer just because I couldn't get them flipped fast enough and I wanted to get some black grill marks on them. I also did them at medium heat for most of it, after I realized the grill was still on high from lighting it, and I finally turned it down (ha ha) (still getting this grilling technique down pat obviously) :)

I have some metal skewers so filled four of those, but had extra shrimp so cooked those in a grill pan (the kind with holes). All turned out fabulous.

By the way, on a funny note, I invited Dan's dad to eat with us because I thought I had too much shrimp. He couldn't come though. It turned out that was a good thing, because we devoured it ALL (it was so good!) and if there was more we probably would have eaten that too, ha ha.


Well the countdown is on. Its been two weeks and I've gone from 155 to 147. The crazy thing is I haven't really changed my workout routine, but I have changed my eating habits. I haven't even cut out bread or pasta, I've simply only snacked on fruit and veggies instead of crackers/chips/ice cream/cookies. Its great to see this improvement just from good eating, but its also bittersweet because I had this knowledge all along (eating right is more important than working out), and I just didn't apply it regularily. It just shows you that it can be a lifestyle and not a diet, but it will still take choices and willpower, so I have to make sure that old mentality doesn't creep back ('I can eat whatever I want 'cause I'm skinny now') because if it does I won't be skinny for long and I don't want that to happen. Keep rooting for me to stay on track please :)

Saturday, July 24, 2010

Where do I start...

Well, if you've been reading this you know that I got pretty mad lately when I realized that all the clothes that should fit me, didn't. I also said I was going to make a change , and I am. I don't have all the figures yet (yes I promised to post measurements too and haven't yet), but I started this mess at 155 and I've already lost 5 pounds just by not eating JUNK, so I'm at 150. I was hoping after my 5 days in Houston I'd be UNDER 150 because the clothes that I took to wear there (that were going to be really tight, remember I was punishing myself lol), weren't that tight and were actually presentable in public. Still tighter than I like, but I could tell already that I had lost some by the way they fit. Good news.
I still want to get under 140. That is my goal. I want to stay there. That is my MAJOR goal. THAT goal is going to require a different gameplan than I have ever used in the past. So let me share some things I learned recently through a not-so-fun conversation with my husband, and share how some things have changed in my head which I believe will be instrumental in helping me attain my goals.

First off, some history.
I ate whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted until my freshman year of college when I gorged myself and wound up with stomaches (u'd think that would have told me to stop) and gained 25 (!) pounds. In h.s. I LITERALLY ate 5 HUGE servings of ice cream every day during the summer and ate all the candy bars I could find. I didn't have much pop, cookies, or chips bc my mom didn't keep them in our house, but I certainly made up for it with the ice cream, didn't I? I only weighed 120-125 then.
Well, fast forward several years, and unfortunately I realized I still have had this mentality.
When I'd reach my goal, I'd hold fast for awhile (even a few months), then I'd fall back into this old way of thinking that "I'm skinny, I can eat whatever I want". Well, guess what. I don't have the same metabolism that I had at 17 and I can't do that! So consequently, my weight since college has gone up and down, up and down, up and down, about 20 pounds in each direction. No fun.
Well, in talking to Dan, he made me realize that yes, people probably do 'crave' or "want' some things, but they make choices NOT to eat them. He himself does this. I get myself into my pity parties, whining to myself that its "not fair" that others can eat anything and not work out, or never seem to battle weight, but I do. So he made me realize that for most people (yes there are those lucky few who have such a great metabolism it doesn't seem to matter at all what they do), but for MOST people, they are making WISE choices. I wasn't. I was in la-la land thinking I could do one thing (eat anything) , but reality is , I can't (anymore). I am coming to face this reality head-on with the maturity of an adult. I'm not going to whine that its 'not fair'. I am going to accept it , and then deal with the cards I am being dealt. I am going to make wise choices. I am not going to eat candy bars/chips/ice cream all the time just because someone else might be partaking, including my kids. AND I'm reducing the amount of that stuff in our house so that they can start making healthier choices instead of always choosing crap for a snack. I'm not cutting it all out, because I think that can cause problems for kids, and its not fair to them to go cold-turkey on this when its not THEIR problem, its mine. But with less and less of it around, I am sure I will see them making better choices too, which of course can only be good news for them and their lives to grow up making wise food choices.
In our discussion, Dan couldn't get over the fact that I told him, that yes, in my head I really do want all that junk. I want (or used to) want to eat it. SO, in my mind, the step I'm in now is to NOT want it. To CHOOSE the jeans that fit and the happiness that brings, instead of the momentary taste of that item in my mouth. I purposely kept those hideous pictures I posted earlier on my camera, so that if I am out and about and about to falter, I can pull up those pictures and remind myself that NO I DON"T WANT THAT JUNK, not in my mouth, nor in my trunk!
I watch some people always trying to eat the healthy thing on a menu or plate, and I used to think (that's so sad, it seems so depressing to never get the 'good stuff' which is really the CRAP). Now I realize that they were doing what Dan talked about. They were making wise choices, they knew they couldn't eat anything they wanted to all the time, so they were making good choices so that they didn't have to battle yo-yo's all their days. I'm almost 40 (yes, I really do wish I still had the body and metabolism I had at 16-17. But I don't... so) I'm going to have to be more diligent in my choices ALL THE TIME, not just when I'm on a 'kick' to lose it then gain it all back because of that old la-la land mentality that doesn't work for me anymore (obviously). So there u have it, that's my game plan... realizing that it IS going to take EFFORT, but that effort will be well rewarded and worth it in the LONG RUN, not just in short runs. I'm not in la-la land anymore, I am facing this head-on and its just the way it is. Is it fair? probably not, but its life.

one day at a time

I've been in Houston for the week. Things have been going good. I took workout clothes hoping I might get in 3 workouts while away, but only got in 1 mile run (in 98degree heat). Its ok. I ate cereal, oatmeal, and one regular meal per day. Twice we were at cafeteria type arenas and didn't have anything I really wanted, but still feel I did ok on what I did wind up eating. And I was full, without being stuffed, so that was good. One thing for me is learning to stop before it hurts.
Was staying with my mom-in-law in the camper and she had a bag of mini candy bars she had purchased mainly for my girls. I normally previously would have been craving those and eating as many of those as possible at a time , but not this time. I didn't eat a single one, and I wasn't bummed about it.
Last night Dan and I played in a dodgeball tournament (a whole 'nother hilarious story in and of itself!) and afterwards we all went out to a restaurant to play pool etc. Everyone ordered buffalo wings, nachos, mozz sticks, chix fingers, potatoe skins, etc. Everyone that is but me. And you know what? I didn't even want it. I was not sitting there agonizing over the fact that I wasn't eating a mozz stick (like I used to do when the girls ordered them and I 'tried' not to eat one). I truly didn't want any, wasn't hungry, and certainly didn't wasnt THAT food.
YIPPEE for me! 99% of my success and failure in choosing the right foods is mental, so if I can get the mental part down (not desiring it), then I win win win.
Also on an 'improvement' note... Dan and I went to Bonefish before the game. I told him I wanted to get my free Bang Bang Shrimp that I love so much. He said I thought u were giving that up (with my new desire to eat better). I said no, Bang Bang will always be with me :) BUT I ordered it with the sauce on the side and probably only used a tablespoon out of the cup they gave me. So instead of about 1300 calories, I'm sure it was ALOT better. It still tasted great and I still got my hot Bang Bang flavor!
Anyway, I've got a post I need to write about my rude awakening in my weight history/hurdles, but I've been away all week, so that enlightening post will have to wait to be written ;) talk soon chickas!

Monday, July 19, 2010

Throwing it away!

Went to the store and returned $18 worth of m&m's, ice cream, and chips. Also threw out 3 bags full of junk food from our house. Its not empty (amazing after getting rid of that much stuff eh?), but at least now there isn't a plethera of stuff to tempt me. Need to set a better example for my kids by snacking on carrots and celery or fruit instead of junk. I will keep u posted. I'm still pissed. But I'm trying not to be pissed at the world. (That's my problem, when I get mad, I get mad at EVERYTHING, and that's not fair to those around me, so I'm trying to direct my anger appropriately). hopefully I'll have a good progress report when I get back Fri.

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Thighs wider than a freight train

Here are the first pictures that started me realizing that I might have gained more weight than I thought... We were celebrating Jen's birthday and took these pictures and I realized that my upper body looks fine but my lower body looks wider than a freight train! I guess not weighing myself everyday and eating basically whatever I wanted, combined with less running has had a very negative consequence.
Compare these pictures to the ones on the left side of my blog. My thighs have gotten extremely wider!
In fact, in these photos with my husband, even though I KNOW I am smaller than him, my thighs and butt look BIGGER than him! I certainly don't want that!

This is when I first got these jeans. They are still body-hugging, but they just didn't seem as wide in the thighs back then. So I am on a mission to lose this extra 15 pounds I have gained this year and get rid of it.

I'm mad

I'm mad.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, I'm not sure which, that is what it takes to get me to get my big butt in gear and get in shape again. So it starts today!

I was trying on shorts to take with me to Houston next week (none of the newer and obviously larger ones I've recently bought, but my old shorts that USED to fit). They didn't fit. They looked disgusting. So disgusting that I took pictures to prove it to myself so anytime I start to think "oh I haven't really gained weight" I can look at those photos and be disgusted enough to not eat junk. I will post them, because its probably not fair that I only post pictures when I've lost weight and feeling really thin. I guess I should share the disgusting pictures as well so that when I DO lose this weight (again! ugh!) I can look back and see the improvement. Nothing like a picture to prove it.

What really pisses me off (or one of the things) is that it seems I am a complete yo-yo, or even worse... a complete growing blob IF I don't watch it and be careful with what I eat. Its ridiculous that I continuously gain weight. It really pisses me off and makes me mad! Its not fair (to borrow that horrible phrase from my oldest daughter).

Anyway, I will post these pictures soon just so u can relish in my disgust as well.
AND, I'm making myself take some of these shorts with me to Houston to wear. How's that for punishment?! (and my husband won't be there to see me in them, I certainly won't wear them in front of him because I want to look good for him. But since he won't be there I will suffer in the discomfort (too tight) and humiliation (looks ridiculous) to teach myself a lesson that these shorts better start fitting darn well soon! I'm taking my shakes with me as my main meals while I'm away, and some running clothes to hopefully get in quick workouts each morning b4 the girls get up. So this better be a jump-start to get back on track. I am so PISSED! You don't even know how much!